


if only you knew the way i been thinkin' of you

by dastardly



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Cult of Bulshar/Massacre (mention), F/F, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, One Night Stands, PTSD, Panic Attack, Some Humor, Some angst, Traumatic Childhoods, mentions of cheating, mentions of divorce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:28:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 33,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23946208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dastardly/pseuds/dastardly
Summary: It begins with a one night stand between two lost souls. A month later, they meet again as Waverly is just starting to figure out who she is. Introducing a more experienced Nicole Haught - hotshot cop from the big city with an affinity for speaking her whiskey-soaked mind in front of a sad and lovely girl.
Relationships: Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught
Comments: 393
Kudos: 932





	1. Chapter 1

When Nicole walked into Shorty’s Saloon that first time, dark clothes and dark eyes, she wanted whiskey on ice and a bit of quiet to silence her mind. She sat herself at the bar and waited until the mustachioed barkeeper came by. He was non-intrusive and efficient and started her tab with a generous pour since she was a new face. Maybe even because she had a nice face.

Just from her first sip, her mind was calming, her shoulders looser.

She was settling into that quiet when a figure dropped onto a stool a few seats over.

Nicole cut a glance at the woman who had her head down on the bar. She caught the look of sympathy on the bartender’s face as he set a glass of something clear and bubby next to the girl without a word. As he walked away, the girl’s small hand reached out blindly and gently thanked him with a squeeze to his hand.

Nicole thought it was nice and went back to her drink. A few sips later she heard some heavy rustling and looked over again. The girl was digging through her purse and Nicole got a good look at her. She was stunning with dark hair and smooth skin. She looked young, but something told Nicole she was probably a bit older than she looked – the way her jaw set, her focus, the tension in her posture. A life lived, some sorrow, a hint of infinite sadness that reverberated in the space between them and called out to her.

Nicole glared at her whiskey. It always softened her heart like this.

“Wynonna, please. I need you.”

Nicole’s brow raised.

“He was in our bed. He was with Stephanie Jones of all people, he knows she bullied me in high school! And even when I caught him, he said he won’t leave! I need you to come kick his ass out! If you don’t, I’m getting my shotgun and I won’t be held responsible for my actions!”

Despite herself, Nicole smiled into her glass.

“I know, I know! I don’t know what I ever saw in Champ or why I let him move into the Homestead with us. It’s literally the dumbest decision I have ever made.”

Nicole heard a soft squeak in disagreement and her smile widened. “Okay, but I need my big sister right now! Who stopped you from getting arrested last month when you started a bar fight!”

A long moment later, “Thank you,” followed by a soft, “See you in the morning, Nonna,” and finally, “I love you, too.”

*

Waverly groaned and let out a long sigh, shoving her phone back into her purse and dropping her head onto her arms again.

“That Champ guy sounds like a real shithead.”

Waverly’s head whipped to her left where a tall woman sat, elbow leaning on the countertop, slender fingers dancing along the rim of her glass, mouth curled into an easy half-smile.

“What kind of idiot,” the stranger drawled as Waverly’s gaze traveled from worn leather boots and long jean-clad legs to a disheveled shirt with the top two buttons undone, “Cheats on a catch like you?”

“Um.”

“Sorry,” the woman murmured, lifting her glass as if that explained everything. “Makes me speak my mind. Blessing and a curse.”

For the first time since Waverly left the Homestead that day, she smiled.

“I’m Waverly,” she offered.

Brown eyes met hers and Waverly could see a faint scar along the stranger’s left eye. A thrill of curiosity ran down her spine.

“I’m Nicole. Pleased to meet you, Waverly. We can go back to our drinks now,” she said resolutely, as if she realized she might be overstepping, but Waverly was already standing up and scooting her purse and glass over to sit next to Nicole.

“Or you can tell me about yourself since you already know the shitballs day I’ve had.”

Nicole drained her drink and turned in her seat to face the smaller girl, her legs so long they bracketed both sides of Waverly’s stool, instigating a closeness that was surprising.

Waverly felt warm.

“Hmm,” Nicole dragged on the sound and Waverly stared at her mouth. “I’m from the city, no one took me seriously for a while, not my parents, not my coworkers, not even my wife.” Nicole grimaced.

Waverly’s heart dropped. “Wife?” she said. She liked women!

“Mhm. I signed and sent in the divorce papers last week before driving up here. Couldn’t stay in the city anymore. Needed a change.”

“But Purgatory? Of all places?” Waverly asked.

Nicole looked into Waverly’s eyes, gaze sharp. “Drive was only a few hours, I could afford the down payment on a place to live and I already had a job offer. I’m meeting with my new boss tomorrow, then I start bright and early day after.”

“Wow. You’re brave. The thought of doing any of that, much less all at once, terrifies me. I’ve never even left Purgatory.” Waverly’s face reddened in embarrassment at her confession. She must seem pathetic. She picked up her vodka soda and took a drink to have something to do with herself.

When she looked back at Nicole, the woman was smiling tenderly. “That’s okay. You have time, you’ll do all sorts of crazy things.”

Hope burst within Waverly. She wished that was true. “How do you know?” she asked.

“Well, you just threatened to shoot your ex with a shotgun. You’ve got fire. If you want something, I think you’ll go after it.”

Waverly was smitten. Who cared what gender Nicole preferred? If she kept saying things like that, Waverly would just have to keep her as a friend.

“Thank you,” she said shyly.

*

Nicole was in for it now. She stared at the dark-haired girl. She could feel her energy, once muted and dampened, alive and electric. Waverly’s emotions were like an open wire, all charged up and thrashing, no hiding it. What she felt was on her face, in her eyes, and her smile was so sweet.

Nicole wanted that sweetness and she groaned, raising a hand for another drink.

Waverly tilted her head, openly studying her and Nicole knew she was in trouble.

She picked up her fresh drink the second it arrived and took it down in one go. She set the glass on the bar top with a thud and leaned closer to the girl, into her space so that Waverly knew exactly her intention.

“Can I convince you to come home with me?”

Hazel eyes blew wide at the invitation. Soft lips parted in shock and Nicole felt drunk in her want to kiss them, but she pulled her body away, trying for some sense of control over herself. She was coming on strong, but part of her felt compelled to do it. Even if Waverly shut her down, she had a feeling the attention would make the girl feel good. Feel better about the day she had. Forget a boy who had cheated on her and consider that a woman wanted to fuck her for no other reason than she was so goddamn attractive.

Waverly seemed to catch her fumbling self and stiffened her spine. “Excuse me?” she whispered. “I’m not…”

“You wouldn’t have to do a thing,” Nicole found herself saying. She didn’t even want to shut up. “I’d take care of you. It could be a one-time thing. One of those crazy things you do,” she offered.

Waverly sat back. “You…you would do that? No reciprocation?”

Nicole smirked. “You clearly haven’t seen yourself. I could only be so lucky.”

Waverly’s face was flaming red. “I don’t know what to say.”

Nicole nodded. “It’s okay. Longshot.” She laughed softly, reached into her pocket and pulled out some cash, dropping it onto the bar and then grabbed a napkin, scribbling her number on it, leaving it in front of Waverly.

“Hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable, Waverly,” she said. “Call me if you change your mind.” She stood up, and her hand reached out as if about to cover the smaller one on the table, just for a pat, but she thought better of it and pulled her hand back. “Or call me if you want to talk. That’s okay, too.”

She could have sat there longer, wanted to stay there and make a fool of herself more, but she had a tender heart and couldn’t bear the thought of making a beautiful woman uneasy. She couldn’t stop her wanting either and it always left her walking that fine line. She strolled out the bar and into the parking lot, stopping by her Grand Cherokee and sighing. Though her buzz was already gone, her brain swam, and she laughed at herself. She couldn’t believe she did that only a week after her divorce. She felt lighter leaving than she had when she walked in.

Yeah. She would be just fine.

As she inserted her key into the lock, she heard the swinging of the saloon door and looked up to see Waverly rushing out, clutching her purse and halting in place when their eyes met.

Waverly seemed to steel herself and marched over to Nicole, glaring up into her eyes.

“One night, nothing weird.”

Nicole’s gaze darkened and her voice dropped low. “Is my mouth on your cunt weird?” 

“Holy shit.” Waverly bent forward, hand holding her stomach like she’d been shot. “You’re the devil.”

Nicole could not believe the universe. She walked round her jeep and opened the passenger door, offering her hand to Waverly, who followed hesitantly, taking her hand and looking up into Nicole’s eyes, searching.

Nicole brought the back of Waverly’s hand to her chest, pressing it there. “You say stop and I get my ass up and out the goddamn room, I swear.”

“Don’t forget that I have a shotgun,” Waverly threatened as she let Nicole help her into the car.

Nicole leaned close to her ear as she was seated. “That a promise? You gonna unload on me, baby?”

Waverly gritted her teeth together, head falling back. Nicole dropped a chaste kiss on her jaw and locked the door, going to the driver’s side. An impossible ride later, tires crunched over gravel as Nicole turned into her driveway. Her home was in a remote area past the Pine Barrens. She had been drawn to the privacy, knowing how judgmental small towns could be.

She looked over at Waverly whose eyes were staring down at her thigh where Nicole’s hand had settled during the drive. Nicole pulled, forcing her legs slightly apart and Waverly’s breath staggered at the insinuation.

Nicole released her seatbelt and hung one arm over the headrest, looking down into Waverly’s aroused expression. Her eyes were dark and her neck flushed. Nicole slid a finger beneath Waverly’s chin and tipped her face up. Waverly looked ready to hyperventilate.

Nicole pressed a firm kiss to soft lips, then pulled back to look into Waverly’s wide eyes. She repeated the kiss once more and waited. “Breathe,” she said. “We can stop.”

A slender hand clutched at her collar, stopping her from pulling back. “N-no. Keep doing it.”

Nicole complied. She pressed kiss after kiss, gentle and sweet until Waverly’s grip on her shirt tightened and kept her from pulling back, forcing Nicole to stay kissing her. Caught off guard, Nicole’s lips parted and Waverly pressed into it, making Nicole moan as Waverly opened up to her.

She introduced her tongue, barely licking into Waverly’s mouth and the other girl shivered, both of her hands sliding up Nicole’s neck and tangling into her auburn hair, forcing their mouths together harder into a deeper kiss until it was all open-mouthed and dirty.

Nicole undid Waverly’s seatbelt for her and squeezed upwards along her thigh. Waverly broke the kiss, shuddering and struggling to breathe. Nicole felt drugged and ran her hand higher, close enough to make Waverly’s hips jump.

“Oh God, Nicole…” Removing her touch from Waverly’s thigh, Nicole pressed her open hand against Waverly’s abdomen over her shirt before slipping underneath and reveling in hot skin. “Please…” Waverly begged and her hands crept back into Nicole’s hair to drag her into another kiss, this one desperate and hungry. “Please,” she repeated against Nicole’s lips.

Nicole ran her hand higher and pushed under the bra that was in her way, letting a small breast greet her palm. So soft and warm. “Fuck,” Waverly cursed against her mouth, giving up on the kiss and dropping her head back, trying to breathe as Nicole tugged and pinched her nipple.

Nicole pulled back to look at the beautiful thing at her mercy. She felt white-hot pleasure stun her low in her gut. She was weak with lust and dropped her hands, both of them gripping Waverly’s hips. Hazel eyes opened in question at the loss just in time to watch Nicole grunt, lifting and practically dragging Waverly’s body over the center console, guiding her over the gear shift and into straddling her lap.

Waverly’s jaw dropped and she cried out helplessly when those hands pulled her center roughly against a hard abdomen. Nicole felt the second the brunette lost control in her lap, grinding down and squeezing her eyes shut so tightly it made Nicole burn with desire. Pushing the shirt and bra up again, she laved her tongue along each of Waverly’s nipples, unable to stick to just one until her hot mouth was swallowing and biting hungrily at swollen flesh.

Waverly’s hips snapped in time with Nicole’s guiding hands at her waist, contributing to her thrusts with a heaviness that lured the angelic girl to shudder and whimper as she found release and freedom in dirty clothed grinding.

The hands in Nicole’s hair gripped and pulled until her mouth was forced off Waverly’s glistening chest. Sense slowly trickled back into Nicole’s mind as she looked into eyes that were staring at her in disbelief.

“I…I came,” said the shy voice.

Nicole’s throat felt hoarse at being forced to talk at a desperate time like this.

She punctuated her words with a slow roll of her own hips. “Then come again.”

Waverly’s eyes closed and she wrapped her arms around Nicole’s shoulders, tucking her face into her neck, giving her the warmest hug Nicole had ever received. “I want to,” she whispered where no one could see her.

Nicole couldn’t take it with all the things she was feeling, the forefront being a despairing need to worship. She pulled the keys out of the ignition, pushed her car door open and protected Waverly’s head with one hand as she held the girl close and maneuvered them out of the vehicle, her boots crunching as she carried her up the porch steps and made it through the door, up her stairs, and into her bedroom, Waverly’s legs wrapped around her waist and her face still tucked away, lips pressed innocently to her skin. Like Waverly wished to do more, but only knew how to be still in her arms.

Kicking off her boots, she climbed knee first onto her bed and slid forward until she could deposit her precious cargo safely onto the mattress, hovering there as limbs untangled from around her and they stared at one another, lips parted and gazes hooded, chests heaving.

Waverly brought her shaking hands to Nicole’s shirt to undo the buttons, but Nicole knew better than to let this girl fade away in fear for even a moment. She pushed the hands away and kindly took Waverly’s face between her palms, pressing their lips together. “It’s okay,” she promised.

Taking a second to remove Waverly’s boots and socks and toss them aside like an afterthought, she laid her long body atop Waverly’s petite one and they kissed until their mouths were puffy, until the shaking went away, replaced by want and one deliciously aroused little thing writhing beneath her.

Nicole sat up enough to pull Waverly’s shirt off in one quick movement before settling back into her, and reached under to unhook her bra and that too disappeared along with Nicole’s face as she got lost in warm skin, groping Waverly’s breast with one hand and sucking on the other, swirling her tongue, pulling, nipping and grazing her teeth on flesh.

She kissed down the middle of Waverly’s abdomen and the lower she went, the harder the girl panted until she grabbed at Nicole’s shoulders, stopping her.

“Wait!” she squeaked, and Nicole grinned up at her. She had a feeling.

She dipped her tongue into Waverly’s belly button and the girl cursed. “Don’t want my mouth on you?” she asked.

She waited for Waverly to catch her breath and meet her gaze again. “It’s not that I don’t want it, but…”

“Well, I want it,” Nicole rasped, and Waverly crumbled, nodding desperately, pupils blown.

Nicole knew it was the first time someone was doing this for her so she went slow, massaging her thighs and calming her before unbuttoning her jeans. Waverly looked tormented by the pace at which Nicole dragged her zipper down and Nicole cupped her sex over her jeans for good measure, wild with the way Waverly bucked into her touch, her grip firm until the girl relaxed and stared up at her like she were the universe, the stars, and divine intervention itself.

Only then did Nicole remove Waverly’s pants, underwear with them. She kissed Waverly’s calves and lingered on her thighs, coming close to her apex, but backing off and switching until the muscles there quivered. Waverly made no move to speed anything along, looking lost in the pleasure of each touch and kiss. No matter how slow and agonizing, Nicole could see how grateful she was for the prolonged exploration, like she was starved for it. It weakened Nicole and as much as she wanted to dive headfirst between Waverly’s legs, she took her time and settled in slowly, hooking each of Waverly’s legs over her shoulders to stave off her desire to shut her legs. Waverly tried but stopped when she realized where she was trapping Nicole and they both shared a smile at the attempt. Nicole wouldn’t have minded, and she thinks Waverly knew it because she let go of some of that tension and watched Nicole dip her head down for an exploratory probe of her tongue.

And then slow was out the window because Waverly was delicious and her pussy was liquid heat. Soft and delectable and gushing. Nicole’s mouth pulled at the swollen lips, giving Waverly a different kind of kiss, tongue pressing hard and flat from entrance to pulsing clit. Waverly’s hips jumped and her head pressed back into the pillows, the sensations completely foreign as Nicole went down on her. Hands fisted sheets and Waverly couldn’t stop the shameless grind as she sought more of that talented mouth and Nicole was only so happy to give it to her, head moving up and down until she pressed her tongue into the little hole that was clenching and unclenching uncontrollably.

“Fuck!” Waverly cried, her body arching as Nicole pushed her tongue as far as she could. Waverly’s legs wrapped tight around her face, forcing Nicole to grab her thighs and spread them wide, holding them open as she sucked and pulled Waverly’s throbbing clit into her mouth.

“Shit, shit, shit,” was all the girl could whisper, head lolling from side to side, and then she froze when a single finger pressed into her, moving fluidly in and out. “More,” she begged, and one finger became two as Nicole fucked her slow and deep, still holding one of Waverly’s legs up, her mouth starting a steady suckle on her clit as she moved her fingers faster and faster, releasing Waverly’s leg to slide her hand over the girl’s breast, and Waverly careened over the edge, mouth hung open, unable to make a sound as her stomach clenched and she thrashed beneath her lover, pushing her hips down, trying to get more of that mouth and those fingers as there were explosions behind her eyes and she became soaked and messy between her legs, on fire and in bliss.

Nicole worked Waverly down slowly and then cleaned her with her mouth before sitting up on her knees, swiping the back of her hand over her face as she took in the wonderful sight of the spent girl in her bed, breathing hard, but visibly relaxed and pleased. She would get cold, Nicole thought, and she dragged the blanket from the end of her bed over their bodies while she settled into the space next to Waverly.

She watched as Waverly’s soul came back to her, lips breaking into a disbelieving smile and the girl’s naked body turned and folded into her own fully clothed one. The room was getting darker as evening was beginning to transform into night.

“Thank you, Nicole,” was whispered into her shirt and Nicole smiled back.

“You’re welcome,” she whispered, and then Waverly was breathing deeply, lost to sleep. Nicole lay there a while longer, taking stock of the uncomfortable wetness between her legs, feeling a satisfaction more than she could have ever known at the body huddled into hers.

The sweet and long kiss she pressed into Waverly’s hair before she closed her eyes was her first warning sign.

*

Waverly awoke, knowing precisely where she was and what had happened the night before. She didn’t even have to open her eyes to know she was on top of the woman she had met at Shorty’s, her hand fisted in the material of a dark shirt and her head on a steadily rising and falling chest.

There was a pleasantness between her legs that made her squeeze them together and burrow closer to the warmth beneath her. An arm pulled her close and she froze, waiting to see if there was any more movement. When she was sure Nicole was breathing evenly, she opened her eyes and squinted as morning blinded her. She glanced around the room. It was nice, almost bare, but neat. Blue carpeting and white walls. A nightstand by the bed, a beautiful mahogany dresser and a wooden rocking chair with a jacket neatly folded over the back. The only disorganization came from two pairs of boots strewn across the floor along with Waverly’s clothes.

Waverly pulled the blanket back to look down at her naked body and shook the smile off her face as she rolled out of the bed, careful not to wake her bedmate. She tiptoed despite the sound-dampening carpet and picked up her shoes and clothes, hugging them to her chest as she walked past the door that had been left open, searching until she found the bathroom at the other end of the hall.

She locked herself in, dropping her things and rushing to the toilet to relieve her bladder, sighing as she did so. She flushed and hoped the sound down the hall wouldn’t wake Nicole. She got her clothes on, foregoing her underwear and staring at them, sighing in resignation as she shoved the offensive item into her pocket.

She stared at herself in the mirror as she washed her hands, at first not recognizing the girl looking back. Then slowly, a giddy smile spread across her face and she had to cover her face with wet hands, shaking her head in disbelief at herself. She felt like her chest was cracking open with excitement and euphoria. What had she done?

Who was she? Was this her finding out? Nicole had called it one of the many crazy things she could do when she proposed it, and her heart beat faster. What would she do next? Who knew? Certainly not her.

Well, maybe some mouthwash, she thought as she rummaged through the cabinets.

She took deep breaths and forced herself to focus. She needed to find her purse and get back to Shorty’s where her jeep was.

She pulled the door open, only to shriek and jump at least a foot in the air at the sight of Nicole leaning there against the wall opposite the bathroom, tiredly rubbing a hand up and down her face.

Waverly’s hand settled over her heart. “You scared the bejeezus out of me!"

Nicole chuckled. “Sorry to ruin your little sneak-out, I had to pee.”

Waverly made a defensive “ _hngh_!” sound. “I wasn’t!”

Nicole raised a single brow until Waverly deflated. “Okay, I kinda was.”

Nicole crossed her arms, and as she passed Waverly into the bathroom, she paused by her side, leaning close to press a kiss to her cheek and murmur in her ear, “Let me brush my teeth. I’ll drop you back to the bar or wherever you want. I’m sure you can find something to eat downstairs. We can be strangers after that.”

The door clicked behind her and Waverly rolled her eyes at herself. Why couldn’t she be more cool about a one night stand. Nicole clearly had no hang-ups about what they’d done.

“This is totally cool,” she consoled herself as she made her way down into the kitchen. It was after seven am. She perused the fridge, eying the boxes of blueberries and strawberries, but couldn’t bring herself to mess up even a single dish, so she settled for grabbing a banana off the counter and sitting awkwardly on a stool at the kitchen island as she slowly nibbled on it, eyeing the garbage can in anticipation of throwing away the peel.

Nicole’s footsteps announced her arrival before she strolled into the kitchen, in the same clothes from the night before, face looking refreshed. She opened the fridge and pulled out a yogurt cup, shaking it at Waverly in question.

“No thank you.”

She pulled out a box of eggs next and shook them as well.

Smiling, Waverly repeated herself.

Next was a package of turkey bacon, then some cheese and when those met resistance, Nicole pulled open her freezer and pulled out a bag of tater tots.

Waverly laughed and wanted to say yes, but also wanted to escape, so she declined again.

Nicole shrugged. She opened her cupboard and pulled out some granola bars, holding the box out, but didn’t seem surprised at the refusal. She grabbed one for herself and tore into it. Waverly climbed down from her stool, having finished her banana and felt strangely seen when Nicole, without taking her attention off her breakfast bar, pushed her foot onto the pedal that opened the garbage can for her.

Waverly dropped the peel in and then took Nicole’s free hand, squeezing it, receiving a smile in return. Nicole jutted her chin in the direction of the front door, and they headed out.

Waverly found her purse on the floor of Nicole’s car and it was a painless drive back.

“Thank you,” she said and she meant it more than she had ever meant those words before.

“My pleasure,” Nicole said, and Waverly believed she meant that, too. They shared a hushed sort of smile before Waverly got out of the car and went to her own jeep. She opened the door, then glanced back. Nicole waved and looked over her right shoulder, reversing her vehicle and disappearing down the dusty road.

Waverly sat in her car and drummed her fingers on her steering wheel, restless until she remembered. She dug through her purse quickly and found the little paper napkin with Nicole’s number. She had no intention of using it, but the way she stared at it all the same should have been her first warning sign.


	2. Chapter 2

Wynonna returned to Purgatory like a force of nature by mid-morning, sending Waverly a series of texts, most of them shotgun emojis. When she made it back to the homestead it was to see a half-naked Champ being rolled out the front door, his things being tossed at him one after the other while he looked on in despair.

That expression used to tug at Waverly’s heartstrings until she gave into him. He had confided in her that he didn’t want to be another loser in Purgatory living with his parents, so he moved in with her on the homestead after she spent months slowly fixing it up and getting it into living condition so she could move out of the cramped room above Shorty’s back when her Aunt Gus owned the bar. Champ helped share expenses, they woke up together in the mornings, and it was close to something special. That’s what she had thought at least.

She took little comfort in knowing he would have to go back home and face his parents, who warned him about getting his life together. A person could only work the rodeo so much and Champ’s back was already a disaster from the last two years of hitting the dirt hard. But sometimes people stick with the thing they know even if it’s breaking them.

Waverly was afraid of being like him. She was afraid of being like a lot of people.

Champ groveled and pleaded, wrapping his arms around Waverly’s legs, begging her to keep him, to look past it. She could barely look at him and her chin wobbled. She rubbed his shoulder before pushing him off. He sat there in shock like he didn’t know what to do with himself. Or hadn’t accepted it yet.

But Wynonna came out and stewed over him while he figured it out, even helping him put bags and boxes into his car to move things along.

Then Champ climbed into his truck and drove back home, as lost and miserable as most in Ghost River County.

Wynonna gave her an almost really nice hug, awkwardly kissed her temple and apologized for having to leave again. Wynonna was an anomaly. Unserious, uncomfortable, and under construction. Waverly thought no one could mold her, but sometimes Wynonna seemed like she wanted to cave, and maybe that scared her older sister who hated this town almost as much as she loved her baby sister.

She would come running, but she would also leave in similar fashion, revving her bike and disappearing as soon as she had arrived, longing in her eyes whenever she looked back. Waverly was torn between holding onto her sister tightly and setting her free.

It gave her great pride to know Wynonna was out there on the road, far from their godforsaken town, doing whatever the hell she wanted, hunting criminals for money and helping rid the world of evil, her own way, dangerous as it was.

Waverly sat in the big homestead by herself. Her life was a series of people leaving.

“God, it’s lonely,” her voice cracked into the quiet.

*

In respect to her one-night stand, and knowing Waverly seemed familiar with the bartender at Shorty’s, Nicole found herself a new bar to relax in after her shifts. She was enjoying the slower pace of Purgatory, the quiet nights, the friendly faces that more often than not regarded her with respect.

“Officer Haught?”

She looked up at Sheriff Nedley. “Yes, Sir?”

“I know you only been here a month, but you’re my most promising deputy. You actually get all your paperwork done before you leave.”

Nicole leaned back in her chair and smiled up at the older man. “Thanks, Sir. Kind of bugs me to leave things for tomorrow that could be done today.”

He scratched under his chin, mustache twitching. “Makes you a mighty good cop. Not having to chase after you, just thought you ought to know. And your patrols are good, too, been getting calls appreciating your help. You seem to resolve things before dragging folks in here and it makes the people of this town feel good about hearing your name when it’s you bein’ dispatched. You’re building up a good reputation.”

That was the most the Sheriff had ever really said to her, other than maybe explaining her duties when she first came on.

“Working in the city,” Nicole said. “People didn’t ever like cops coming around. I learned to be a little more judicial, I suppose, build trust. I take serving the public seriously and I want to do the job right.”

The Sheriff nodded. “Gonna pay off for you one day soon, I can tell you that.” He put an old Stetson on his head and cuffed her shoulder lightly. “You should join me for a drink one of these days.”

“I’m sure I will.”

The next day, while on patrol, Nicole received a dispatch. Drunk and disorderly at Shorty’s Saloon. Sheriff Nedley was already there after his shift was over but needed a car to escort Champ Hardy to the station and book him since the Sheriff was off-duty and wished to remain so.

The name Champ rang familiar in the back of Nicole’s mind, but she couldn’t quite place it. She answered the call and turned her cruiser around.

*

Waverly was behind the bar, nursing her hand. Who knew punching someone’s face could hurt so much? Doc had given her a towel with ice and to say she was irritable was an understatement.

Sheriff Nedley was across the room with Champ who looked miserable with all the attention on him as he held a wad of tissues to his bleeding nose.

The door to Shorty’s opened and in walked the police officer Nedley called for. Waverly’s heart stopped as she blinked in recognition at Nicole standing in the doorway, tipping her head at the Sheriff. She drank in the sight, gaze traveling from Nicole’s tactical boots to her form-fitting black pants with vertical stripes up both sides, and the stiff pale blue shirt, PSD emblems proudly on display at her shoulders. Waverly’s mouth ran dry at the holster slung around her hips, and the red hair that Waverly remembers being so soft looked a touch longer, the ends falling below a strong jawline, framing that serious face handsomely.

Nicole’s dark eyes traveled over the bar room, surveying and stalling on Waverly. Their eyes locked, then Nicole returned her attention to the Sheriff, walking over to have a word with him first.

Waverly couldn’t stop her staring. Nicole headed her way, pulling out a notepad and pen.

“Good afternoon.”

“Oh, good afternoon, Officer…”

As if this were their first meeting, Nicole freed one hand and held it out. “Haught.” Waverly noticed the silver pin on her chest confirming that Haught was indeed Nicole’s surname. Of course.

Waverly held the makeshift icepack against herself with her bruised hand so she could accept the handshake with her good one. It was firm, polite, professional.

“I’d like to take your statement if that’s all right, Miss…”

“Earp, Waverly Earp.”

Nicole nodded and scribbled her name down. “What happened here, Miss Earp?”

That brought Waverly out of her sudden fascination as she glared over at Champ. “He’s my ex. He got drunk and Doc,” Waverly pointed out the bartender who was at Nedley’s side, “Cut him off for the night. He threw a tantrum, tried to say I was making Doc cut him off and he came around the bar, which is against the rules, you know, and he was grabbing me and trying to pour himself another beer, so I punched him in the face.”

Nicole’s brow ticked up as she continued to write out the statement. She slipped the notepad and pen away, meeting Waverly’s gaze. “Thank you, I’ll take him to the station and book him. If you would like to press charges, come by the station and we can file a report. If not, I’ll keep him over night so he learns a lesson, but he’ll be free to go in the morning. “ 

“Am I in trouble? For hitting him?” Waverly was sure she was. She had never hit anyone before.

Waverly could see the corner of Nicole’s lip twitch slightly, like she wanted to smile.

“As the bartender on duty, you are well within your rights to cut off customers by your own judgement, with or without reason, Miss Earp. He trespassed when he walked around the bar and he put his hands on you first. That’s an assault charge right there.”

Waverly breathed out in relief. “That’s good to know. Thank you, Officer Haught.”

“You’re welcome. You can file that report any time you’d like.”

“Oh no, it’s okay. I won’t be pressing any charges. A night in jail sounds rough enough.”

“All right.” Nicole looked at Waverly’s bruised hand. “Are you okay?”

Waverly shrugged. “Yeah, nothing some ice and aspirin can’t fix.”

“If you feel at all unsafe, I recommend filing a restraining order.”

“I’ll…take that into consideration, thank you.”

“Have a good night, Miss Earp. Careful now,” Nicole said, eyes indicating she meant with Waverly’s knuckles.

Nicole walked over to Champ and leaned over him, talking to him directly. He nodded at what she said and she patted his shoulder, taking out a pair of handcuffs and helping him stand up so she could restrain his hands behind his back. She was gentle and kept talking to him. Waverly felt sympathy for Champ when she saw his face close to crumbling at being escorted out of the saloon for a night in jail.

Waverly’s body slumped against the bar. She was drained.

“Waverly, you gonna be all right?” the Sheriff asked, laying a comforting hand on her shoulder. He was her best friend’s dad and growing up, she had come to think of him like an uncle. 

“Yeah, Officer Haught was nice, very informative.”

Nedley smiled. “Yeah, she’s got a way about her. My most promising deputy in years.”

“How come she never comes in for a drink with you?” Waverly asked.

The Sheriff shrugged. “I ain’t sure. Invited her a couple of times, said she would. Heard she goes to Matilda’s bar sometimes, though. A bit out of my way, but maybe I’ll stop by for a change.”

On her drive home, Waverly thought about Nicole Haught and the one night she had played over and over in her mind constantly throughout the past month.

*

Nicole sat at her dining room table, cleaning her handgun the next morning when her cell rang. The number was local.

“Hello?”

“Officer Haught?”

Nicole dropped her gun and stood up. “Is that you, Miss Earp?”

“Yes. Waverly. Please call me Waverly.”

“Are you okay? You should call the station if something happened. Give me your address, I can come by right now if there’s a problem.”

A soft giggle sounded over the phone. “Officer, calm down. I’m calling your personal number, the one you gave me. Remember?”

Nicole pulled the phone away from her face and glared at it like it had betrayed her. Shit. She put the device back to her ear. “Remember?” Her voice hardened. “How could I forget? I think I told you I could only be so lucky to have you. I won’t forget havin’ you.”

Nicole smirked at the intake of breath. In uniform, out in public, Nicole was professional, but this was something else.

“I was curious about something.”

“Didn’t satisfy your curiosity the last time?”

“Nicole, I’m being serious, I have a question.”

“What’s the question?”

“Have you avoided Shorty’s because of me?”

Nicole blew a breath out the corner of her mouth. “Well, yeah, of course.”

“Why?”

Nicole slid a hand into her pants pocket and walked over to the window, peeking out. “You seemed familiar with the bartender, figured it was someplace you went a lot. I didn’t know you worked there, but you said you wanted it to be a one night thing, I didn’t want to breach your space.”

Waverly didn’t respond for a while before saying, “Thank you, and thank you for yesterday, too. For not making it obvious that you knew me.”

“You’re welcome, Waverly.”

“That’s kind of all I wanted to say. I was really surprised to see you. I would have never guessed you were a cop.”

“Oh yeah, why’s that?”

“I don’t know. Just not what I would have guessed, you’re very different out of uniform.”

“I see. Well, if that was all, Waverly, I start my shift soon.”

“One more thing.”

“Yeah?”

“Stop going to Matilda’s bar. I know it’s out of your way. We can be adults about this.”

“Mm.” Nicole bit her tongue about all the adult ways they could go about things. “I’ll think on it.”

“Have a good shift then.”

Nicole put her gun together distractedly after the call ended. Her skin warmed. Waverly Earp was going to cause her all sorts of trouble.

She was content with the realization.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos! They really motivate me to write and edit these chapters faster. It's super gratifying to see people responding positively to my work. I reply to everyone so feel free to chat with me. 'Til then, enjoy the update!

For two weeks, there was no sign of Officer Haught, and at first, Waverly was relieved because she had never planned to extend that invitation to Nicole, but as their call was coming to an end, she couldn’t help herself. After the first week of waiting, she became restless, staring at the door wistfully.

Doc assumed she wanted to go home and kept offering to let her off early, which she absolutely refused.

Then like a cool breeze. “Evening.”

Waverly was walking out from the backroom to find Nicole sitting at her bar. She set down the box she was carrying and came forward, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Nicole’s eyes followed the movement.

“Officer Haught, I’m glad you stopped by,” Waverly said, fixing a whiskey on the rocks, and pushing it to Nicole. “On the house.”

“No chance,” Nicole replied, dropping a ten on the bar.

Waverly pushed the bill back. “Just the first one, please.”

Nicole didn’t fight her on it.

As Waverly restocked for the end of her shift, she kept hovering by Nicole, sneaking glances at the other woman. Waverly wondered if Nicole might try something with her, but as time passed, Nicole seemed content to be sitting alone with her drink.

Waverly accepted her money when she gestured for a refill.

This happened every other night for a while. Nicole stopped by for one to two drinks, never three, and then she would murmur a good night, leave a tip and head out.

Waverly learned one crucial thing during these interactions. Nicole Haught was respectful of boundaries, so it was up to Waverly if she wanted to push them.

Almost everything in Waverly’s life had happened to her, but maybe life could start to happen for her. It was funny how Nicole’s quiet presence made Waverly think harder about existential things. 

“Would you like to be my friend, Officer Haught?” Waverly asked one night after serving Nicole her whiskey.

Nicole smiled like she had been waiting. “My friends call me Nicole.”

Waverly turned around to hide her matching smile, assorting a fresh batch of syrups.

“So, Nicole,” she called over her shoulder. “Did you always want to be a cop?”

No hesitation. “Yes. Used to walk around with my toy gun and plastic handcuffs, pretending to arrest my stuffed animals. Memorized the Miranda rights by the time I was twelve.”

Uncontrollable laughter bubbled up from Waverly. “Oh my God, that is so adorable.”

Nicole nodded. “Got photos, too.”

“You have to show me that!”

“What about you? Like tending bar?”

Waverly clammed up. “Uh, yeah. It’s nice, not really what I want long-term though.”

Nicole’s finger circled the rim of her glass, curiosity piqued. “What would you like to do then?”

Waverly anxiously began wiping down glasses. “Well, I’ve been taking history and Latin courses online, trying to get a degree. I love my classes and learning even if it’s not in a traditional classroom, but I can’t really afford to go to a proper university. Working here helps pay my car insurance, bills, and covers my classes, but it’s not forever.”

“Latin?”

“Oh yeah, history is my major, but Latin is for fun. I love learning languages! I took French in high school and I can still speak it fluently.”

“Wow, that’s impressive, seems like you have it all planned out.”

“Yep! I’m a planner!” Waverly laughed nervously. Talking about her future made her awkward. Like she could say all the important sounding things, but would she ever really amount to anything remarkable when it was all said and done?

“Do you want to teach history or something?”

“God, that would be amazing. I know I have a long way to go, but I’d really love to teach at a college one day. Be a proper professor, you know?”

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-three soon, actually.”

Nicole beamed at her. “See. You’ve got time and you know what you want already. You’ll get your degree and you’ll keep crossing things off your career checklist until it’s ten years later and you’re telling your students that you don’t accept late papers and their exam grades were horrendous, cursing the day you got offered a professorship.”

Waverly could see it the way Nicole described it. A career checklist? She needed to make that ASAP. It sounded almost attainable.

“You really think so?” she asked shyly.

“Of course. You’re smart, well-spoken, beautiful. You’re gonna have so many students clamoring to snag a spot in your classes. Professor Earp is going to be so popular.”

“Thank you, Nicole. That’s kind of you to say.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep saying it until you believe it, too.”

“Keep talking like that and you might steal my best friend spot from Chrissy Nedley.”

Nicole seemed so lighthearted that night. “Wouldn’t want the Sheriff’s daughter after me. I’ll settle for super supportive gal-pal.” Nicole looked to be very amused delivering that sentence and Waverly didn’t quite understand it, but she leaned over the bar top anyway.

“You’re sweet.”

“So are you.” Nicole winked.

Waverly rolled her eyes, face and neck getting hot. “You’re bad.” 

“You like that, too, friend,” and Waverly couldn’t deny that she did like that. She never quite had something so precious and mysterious. It was exhilarating. The universe existed and it was poetry, the way a girl could endure in darkness her whole life and then find herself under a halo of possibilities.

*

“How old are you?” Waverly asked the next night.

“Twenty-seven,” Nicole replied. It wasn’t so surprising. Nicole was confident and established, solid and stable. She didn’t twist her fingers together as she held serious conversations.

She knew who she was and she talked like Waverly was going to know herself one day, too.

“Why did you want to be a cop?”

Nicole drained her glass, posture stiff. “Kind of personal.”

Waverly felt guilty just for asking. “Oh.” She grabbed the whiskey and went to pour Nicole another drink, but a hand wrapped around hers over the bottle and she froze.

“This one’s free, for asking something personal,” she offered.

Nicole kept her hand on hers. “I’m at my limit.”

Waverly put the bottle down, Nicole’s hand falling away.

The space between them was charged with the simple touch. All Waverly could see was Nicole. The way she watched her, steady, daring, distant.

Waverly wondered at the distance. What it meant and why it was there and why shouldn’t it be there because Nicole was still a stranger, but she was a stranger that had done something no one else ever had done to and for Waverly, and Waverly kept waiting and she didn’t know what she was waiting for, just that she ached when Nicole walked into Shorty’s and she withered when Nicole walked back out.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Nicole warned. “You’ll start something,” and then she was standing to leave, hesitating at the door before she was gone.

*

After her shift was over, well past midnight, Waverly found herself driving down the unfamiliar stretch of backroads past the Pine Barrens. Just for a peek, she had told herself.

Nicole’s memorable hunter green Grand Cherokee wasn’t out front. Instead, a police cruiser was parked in its spot. Waverly turned off her jeep and got out, shaking with nerves. The moon was shining ominously on her, the night was starkly quiet, and Waverly shivered with fear for being here and for fear of not.

She walked up the porch steps and raised her hand to knock but couldn’t do it. She felt like a fool. How could she come here and wake Nicole up and expect this?

She turned away when a thunk came from behind the house, startling her. It sounded again and again in repetitious pattern. Waverly took careful steps towards the back to investigate.

Her senses were tuned into the sounds of crickets, the rustling of leaves, the soft rolls of wind against her skin and her heart beat so hard she could barely see past two feet in front of her.

She discovered the disruption was a tall figure in the distance, swinging a sledgehammer with deadly force against a partially demolished shed.

Waverly stepped back on instinct, foot crunching on dying foliage, and the person stilled. Waverly was in full panic mode and then the figure turned and stared. As her eyes adjusted, she could begin to make out that Nicole was in the same outfit she had worn when she left the bar. Jeans and a black and white flannel.

Nicole seemed to realize who she was seeing. She set the tool down, leaning it against a broken post. She made her way towards Waverly, pulling off worn work gloves and stuffing them into her back pocket. She removed her protective eyewear and stopped in front of the smaller girl, reaching out and gathering the material at the front of Waverly’s chest with her right fist. Her eyes glinted dangerously as she dragged Waverly flush against her front, their breaths mingling as one silhouette loomed over the other under the flickering of a starry night. Then Nicole pushed and Waverly was too startled to react or do anything other than stumble backwards until she was pressed up against the back of Nicole’s house and a hot mouth was on hers, devouring her fear and turning it into unbearable lust.

She heard a soft plop as Nicole tossed her goggles over one shoulder, then Nicole was hooking Waverly’s leg over her waist, Waverly cupping the backs of Nicole’s arms, pulling the devilish thing in, rolling her hips, keening, whining and wanting.

Nicole’s mouth disconnected from hers and she stared down at Waverly, dark eyes searching.

Fingers wrapped around Waverly’s belt and tugged hard. Nicole’s voice was gravel. “This what you want?”

“Shit,” Waverly panted. “Yes, yes, yes!”

Nicole undid her belt and hooked her fingers at the top of her pants and underwear, sinking down to her knees in the dirty grass, taking the garments with her, leaving them bunched at Waverly’s boots. Nicole buried herself in Waverly’s heat, licking long and hard, sucking on sensitive flesh with her lips, probing her tongue slow and deep, sinking in and in and in. Waverly clutched at powerful shoulders. Her hips stuttered and she had no choice but to be supported by the woman destroying her, leaving her weak and helpless, her soaked cunt tilted into the mouth of absolution.

Nicole dragged the moans out of her, forced her to sob with pleasure, relentless and starving as she drank selfishly. The realization that Nicole was doing this to her out of selfishness only made her sink deeper onto the face she was grinding on. Nicole would turn her head every so often, pressing her jaw and chin into the depths of Waverly, shameless in her demand to be memorialized in Waverly’s essence.

Nicole wrung several orgasms out of her in the time it normally took her to achieve just one. Waverly’s sight was blinded white and her throat ached. Her abs tensed and spasmed and she shook her head from side to side.

“I can’t,” she admitted to the stars. The mouth on her halted.

Soft kisses rained down her thighs. The storm inside Nicole gentled for her as she rose, bringing Waverly’s pants back up with her. Steady hands caught her boneless body, one arm hooking under her knees and another behind her back so she could be lifted and cradled to a chest that was proving trustworthy. Waverly pressed a kiss there and Nicole smiled down at her, their eyes never straying as the slow journey began around the house, onto the porch, up the stairs and into a room Waverly was beginning to relish being in. Nicole sat her down at the edge of her bed and removed her shoes and clothes in the dark.

She stripped herself down to an undershirt and briefs, climbing into bed with Waverly, and Waverly, sated and needy, rolled on top of the long body and clung. Nicole’s arms gathered her close, pulling a blanket over them, and somewhere between being afraid and being adored, she faded away to the rhythm of a steady heartbeat.

*

The next morning, Waverly awoke alone. She sat up and shivered, naked beneath the blanket. She dressed herself, freshened up and went downstairs to find Nicole in the living room, wearing the same underthings she went to bed in with the addition of socks, doing push-ups on an exercise mat. There were dumbbells nearby and by the sweat on Nicole’s skin, she had been working out a while.

She paused at Waverly’s footsteps. “Breakfast’s in the kitchen,” she said, “I’ll be done here soon,” then continued.

The supple muscles rippling along Nicole’s arms, shoulders and across her back were distracting, and quite frankly, Waverly thought she had a nice ass, too, because those briefs left barely anything to the imagination. Waverly covered her mouth to keep from giving herself away as she slipped into the kitchen and away from saying something inappropriate.

Nicole would torment her if she knew what she was thinking.

At the kitchen Island, Waverly found a covered plate, which she discovered had just two slices of toast. In front of her was an assortment of jams and nut butters, a bowl of mixed berries and a glass of orange juice that was thankfully still cold when she drank from it.

Waverly was thrilled to spread some grape jam on one slice and almond butter on another, popping a blueberry into her mouth curiously at what Nicole had left for her.

As she was finishing off her fruit, Nicole appeared, skin glistening, hair tousled and expression soft. Her hand brushed Waverly’s back as she passed to get a glass of water.

She braced against the sink and watched Waverly eating her breakfast. “Want some eggs or coffee?”

“No thank you. This is perfect.”

“Mm, good. What are you doing today?”

Waverly hummed and bit into a strawberry. Fruit in the morning made her feel luxurious. “I have two assignments due tomorrow. I’ll be working on those and I have my shift tonight at Shorty’s. Will I see you there?”

Nicole brought her water and sat next to Waverly. “Not tonight. I have an early shift tomorrow.”

“Will I see you tomorrow then?”

“No. Probably not, gonna finish the project you caught me working on last night.”

“What was that by the way? Why were you doing that in the dark?”

Nicole shrugged. “Been at it whenever I can. The last owner kept this house in good shape, redid the foundation, the roofing, and the plumbing before putting it for sale, but that shed is garbage. The wood is rotting and it’s an eyesore. I want to get it demolished and move all the debris to the landfill soon as I can.”

“Sounds like a lot of work for one person.”

“Sure, but I enjoy it and my labor is free even if it does take some time.”

“Thank you for breakfast, by the way.”

“Thank you for last night.”

Waverly blushed and finished the last pieces of her toast. “I should get home.”

Nicole walked her to the door, pressed a kiss to her cheek and freed her back into the world, away from what was turning into a very special place for Waverly. A place hidden from prying eyes and small town judgement. A place where a woman kissed her and took her apart and put her back together again.

Waverly was only just beginning to comprehend what Nicole was. That the universe had opened up and offered her a person to take her hand through some of the scariest moments of her life.

The following days would expose her to those realizations. It began when Willa Earp appeared on her doorstep that night with Wynonna roaring back into Purgatory two days later after a frantic call from her baby sister.


	4. Chapter 4

Waverly has only ever known Wynonna as her big sister. She had somehow forgotten Wynonna is also a little sister, too. The reminder came in the form of Wynonna shaking as she stood opposite Willa in their living room. Waverly stayed by the stairs, looking between her sisters.

“Hey, Nonna,” Willa said, regret infused into the soft nickname.

“Why the hell are you here?”

“To say sorry.”

“Well sorry not accepted, you fucking jerkhole! I went eleven years without you, Willa and I don’t need you now. I never needed you!”

Waverly’s chin wobbled at the tremble in Wynonna’s voice.

“I know you never needed me, Nonna.”

“Of course I needed you, you idiot! And you just left us with him! You left me!”

Willa bristled. “Should I have stayed and done what daddy wanted for the rest of my life?”

Wynonna turned around and kicked the wall. “Gah!” She turned back and glared at Willa. “You could have still talked to me! You could have still been my goddamn sister, instead you disappeared. I looked for you for so long.”

“You did?” Waverly whispered, unheard. Is Willa what Wynonna was chasing all these years?

Willa’s head tilted. “I’m so sorry, Nonna. I was young and selfish. And when I realized how poorly I left things I was too scared to come back. My life was a mess and I didn’t want to burden anyone.”

“You being gone was the burden.” The fight drained out of Wynonna. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

A hopeful smile cracked across Willa’s face. “Me neither. I won’t disappear again. I promise.”

Wynonna marched across the room and threw herself into Willa’s arms.

Wynonna’s eyes searched out Waverly and she held open an arm, gesturing for her to join them. Willa waved her over, too, and hopeful for a fresh start, Waverly dutifully inserted herself into their hug and took a deep breath. A fragile smile erupted over her lips as her older sisters smothered her between them.

Wynonna’s love was enough to overshadow the darker things lurking in Waverly’s heart. She pushed aside the mental box of Willa that threatened to burst open inside her mind. She buried it way down and decided she could shovel forever if it meant she could have a chance at a family again.

*

Nicole had just gotten to the Sheriff’s department and settled into her chair when a woman in a tasseled leather jacket and heavy boots walked out of the Sheriff’s office, followed closely by Nedley. Nicole eyed the six-shooter strapped to her hip and surmised what her line of work was without much difficulty.

“Deputy.” Nedley waved her over.

Nicole stood and made her way to the pair. “Yes, Sir?”

“This here is Wynonna Earp, she brought in Johnny Yaw a little while ago.”

Nicole held the Earp name close to her chest and kept a neutral expression.

“Johnny Yaw,” Nicole said, having recently familiarized herself with their past police reports. “Skipped bail last year and the FBI took over that case, right?”

“Yes. Wynonna found him one town over hiding out in a motel. She’s a bounty hunter, so I just wanted ya’ll to make acquaintances.”

Nicole held out her hand. “Deputy Haught.”

Wynonna’s jaw dropped and she very obviously gaped at Nicole’s name pin before recovering and staring Nicole dead in the eye. “Accurate,” she said, smirking as she shook Nicole’s hand.

Nicole’s brow twitched, but she otherwise kept her amusement to herself.

She reached into her pocket and withdrew one of the cards she kept there, offering it to Wynonna.

Wynonna stared at it and looked at Nicole in question.

“You’re chasing down criminals that have broken Purgatory law and left our jurisdiction, but if you ever need backup, don’t hesitate to reach out.”

“Huh. That’s a first.”

“Hm?” Nicole asked.

“Usually you coppers are so sensitive about outside help.”

Nicole blew out a breath in agreement. “You got a license and we’re playing on the same side. I may not agree with your methods, but Johnny Yaw is a worthless son of a bitch and you brought him here to face the consequences of murdering his wife and child. That’s enough for me.”

“Cool balls,” Wynonna said, snatching the card and turning back to the Sheriff. It was clear to Nicole that Wynonna did not like to get into the emotion of a thing. She smacked the Sheriff’s arm, signaling a familiarity that he gruffly ignored. “See ya’ll with the next one! Don’t miss me, Nedley!” Wynonna called, walking backwards and bumping into a wall before righting herself, then shooting them finger guns and disappearing.

Nicole chuckled.

“Looks like this town is in for it now,” Nedley warned. “The Earp sisters have come home.”

Nicole glanced at her boss. “Sisters?” she asked. “Multiple?”

“Yeah, Willa is the eldest. She left young. God, maybe ten years ago. Then Wynonna left after her, but she comes by now and then. I just hope Waverly is all right.” Randy Nedley never looked more like a father than right then. “That girl used to cry to Chrissy about Willa and Wynonna all the time.”

Nicole’s expression hardened. “What’d they do?”

“Used to gang up on her from what I could understand. Then Willa ran away and Wynonna began acting out. Built up a real bad reputation before she left and Waverly got bullied somethin’ awful for being an Earp. I just worry about old habits, you know.”

He looked at Nicole thoughtfully. “You keep Wynonna in check. Don’t let her run circles around ya. She can be like that.”

“I hear you, Sir.”

Randy smiled. “I know you do.”

*

It’s not that she was hiding from Willa. It’s just that since Wynonna left that morning on a tip, promising to be back as soon as she got her guy, Waverly wasn’t sure what her relationship to her oldest sister was.

Waverly had never considered the fact that Willa had left her, too, and guiltily, she remembered how happy she was when Willa ran off because Wynonna was hers for a while before it all went to shit.

“Hey, little sister.”

Waverly jolted up from the hay bale she was sitting on. Willa was at the barn door.

“Oh hey!” Waverly looked around awkwardly. It was obvious by the pathetic state of their old barn house that Waverly was doing nothing other than hiding in the ruins.

There was a time when she toddled into this space to gather eggs for her mother and to sneakily feed sugar cubes to the horse her dad had once rode into town when he was Sheriff, before everything fell apart, back when the homestead thrived under the nourishment of a patient and kind matriarch.

Waverly blocked that out as best she could.

“You always used to hide in here,” Willa said.

“I don’t…I didn’t know what to say to you.”

“How about I make you some lunch and we figure that out. Wynonna called and she’ll be home for dinner. We can make her something together.”

Wynonna called Willa and not her? Uneasiness burrowed under Waverly’s skin and sank deep deep deep into her bones.

She stared up at Willa and felt four years old again.

“That sounds nice,” she agreed and let herself be led into the house.

Wynonna came home after eight and hugged Willa first, staring at her older sister like she still couldn’t believe she existed. They broke out a bottle of whiskey and started a bonfire out back under the stars of a cool crisp near-autumn night, laughing and reliving tales of old adventures from when they were younger.

Wynonna and Willa ate their roast chicken dinner together and shared a look at Waverly’s expense for refusing the mashed potatoes because there was cream and butter in it. Willa clucked her tongue at Waverly’s falafel on pita bread, but Wynonna shoved her.

“Leave babygirl alone,” she warned, and though she was in good spirits, there was a threatening edge there that sounded like a promise to Waverly. 

Even if Wynonna was no longer hers, maybe she was still Wynonna’s, and what a strange thing sisters were to each other.

Waverly left them out there and sank into her bed for a fitful night of sleep.

*

Waverly was furious. Anger simmered and coiled beneath her flesh. Willa had asked to borrow her jeep with a promise to pick her up after her shift at Shorty’s, but an hour of waiting later, and she still wasn’t answering her phone.

Waverly’s history paper was due at ten am in the morning and she began the frustrating walk from the bar to the homestead a few minutes past one am.

The road was terrifying and desolate and she should have asked Doc for help, but she was too caught up in her frustration to think straight and only knew that her feet were taking her in Willa’s direction to either yell at her or punch her in the face. Her fist throbbed at the idea, but she didn’t care.

“Who does that?” she asked herself, dialing Wynonna’s number and getting sent to voicemail. “Fricking Willa!” She kicked at the dirt and stopped in the middle of nowhere, covering her eyes and huffing out ragged breaths.

In the distance, she heard a vehicle approaching. Headlights lit up the dark stretch of road. Waverly prayed it wasn’t some creep and turned on her heel to return to Shorty’s.

Her hands grew clammy when tires slowed next to her. She looked over and her anxiety faded at the sight of Nicole in her police cruiser, staring at Waverly in utter concern.

Waverly walked around the car, flung open the door and climbed in, crossing her arms.

“Can you take me home please?”

Nicole shifted gears and began driving. They didn’t acknowledge the fact that Nicole didn’t exactly know where the homestead was.

Waverly was still stewing when a firm hand reached over and rubbed up and down her back. Waverly leaned forward to give Nicole the room to console her and the longer that hand stroked her back, the faster her tears came until she slumped over in the passenger seat, face crumpling into her palms.

“I don’t want her to see me like this,” Waverly cried. “She doesn’t deserve to make me feel like this! I’m so stupid, of course she would just forget me!” Waverly didn’t know which sister she was crying about.

Nicole pulled over at the side of the road, unbuckled her seatbelt and took Waverly into a fierce hug.

“Goddamit,” Waverly croaked, tears and saliva wetting Nicole’s shoulder as she sobbed. When Waverly calmed down, she realized shamefully what she was doing, but couldn’t bring herself to pull away.

She sucked in a lungful of air to calm herself and when she finally sat back, Nicole’s gaze searched hers tenderly.

“I’m on patrol all night,” Nicole said. “You can sleep in my bed if you want some peace and quiet.”

“That…would be so nice,” Waverly admitted. Willa was always seeking her out at the homestead and even as irritated as Waverly felt by some of the judgy comments Willa had made about her veganism or her job at Shorty’s, Waverly had held back. “Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yes.”

Waverly never had reason to question Nicole’s honesty so she took relief in the fact that Willa could just go frick herself and she didn’t have to go home and deal with all that.

They got to Nicole’s house and the officer led Waverly inside, flipping on lights as Waverly hung her jacket up.

“What time you gotta get home tomorrow?”

Waverly remembered her assignment and deflated. “Balls. Do you have a laptop? I have to edit my history paper and submit it. After that I’m free until my shift at Shorty’s tomorrow.”

Nicole took Waverly by her arms, guiding her to sit on the couch. Waverly smiled up at the woman towering over her. Nicole dragged the coffee table closer to the couch and then left the room, returning with a silver laptop and charger, setting them down in front of Waverly on the table.

“I’ll be back around six am, just wake me when you need a ride.”

Waverly opened her mouth to answer when her stomach rumbled. Nicole shook her head fondly and walked away, calling over her shoulder, “Get started on that assignment. Faster you finish, faster you can sleep.”

Waverly tumbled through her purse for her flash drive and turned on the laptop, logging into the guest account. She was deep in concentration minutes later, typing up her introduction, something she only ever did after her paper was complete to avoid being vague and weak with her opening statement.

“Here, eat something,” Nicole murmured, setting a plate and mug next to the laptop. She pressed a kiss to Waverly’s temple. “I’m off now.”

Waverly caught Nicole’s hand as she turned away. The officer looked back.

“You’ll come sleep with me when you return, right?”

A slow smile unfurled over Nicole’s lips. “Yeah, I’ll come cuddle you right up.”

Waverly smiled at her and brought the hand she had captured to her lips, brushing a kiss to Nicole’s knuckles. “Thanks.”

Nicole pulled her up into another hug before taking her leave. Waverly watched as Nicole locked the door behind her. She sat down and took the mug first. She sipped it and smiled. Chamomile tea. Maybe to relieve her stress. Waverly’s hunger rolled through her and she wearily picked up the sandwich Nicole had prepared for her, guarding herself for disappointment.

She pulled the top slice of thick toasted multigrain bread up and inspected the inside, finding a generous bed of lettuce, arugula, tomato, slices of cucumber and a thick slathering of something creamy. Curiously, she licked the substance and rejoiced when she realized it was a sweet and tangy hummus. 

“Holy crap!” she exclaimed, taking a big bite out of the sandwich, groaning and humming at how satisfying it was. She was shaking her head as she ate the sandwich, giddy with excitement. Did Nicole know she was vegan? She hadn’t said anything about it.

The thought of someone noticing and acknowledging her like that spun her terrible night on its head.

She finished her sandwich, submitted her paper less than an hour later, and went up to Nicole’s room. The trust Nicole put in her to allow her free reign of her most private space didn’t go unnoticed.

It made Waverly want to lay in Nicole’s bed with her legs open when she returned, and that thought made her whole body flush. She imagined Nicole climbing on top of her and sinking deep inside of her, of Nicole suffocating her with her mouth and never letting her breathe again.

Waverly had never known desire like that before and while she didn’t think she could be so bold to greet Nicole in such a manner, she did feel safe enough to strip down to her panties and climb into the bed, covering herself with Nicole’s blanket, indulging in the cool slide of fabric against her naked skin and inhaling the sweet vanilla scent she was beginning to cherish.

*

Nicole returned home from her uneventful patrol and looked through the house. Her laptop was off and Waverly had washed her dishes. Nicole walked up the stairs, careful to be quiet. She unholstered her service weapon, locking it away, then began the process of removing her uniform and returning it to her closet. She took a warm shower to ease her stiff back from long hours sat in her cruiser, put on a pair of sweatpants and a white tee, and climbed in behind the bare body in her bed.

She slid under the blanket and pulled the smaller girl close and fell asleep easily.

She woke hours later on her back to the burn of the afternoon sun on her squinting eyes with an adoring weight pressing her down into the mattress. She opened her eyes to find she was being studied, and she memorized the flecks of brown and green in Waverly’s irises.

She blinked and Waverly’s smile kissed her lips. The back of dainty fingers caressed her cheek.

“You know I’m vegan.”

Nicole smirked. She was pretty proud of herself for that one.

“I’m a wolf. I study my prey.”

Waverly giggled and pressed another smile to her smirk.

“Tell me how.”

Nicole’s arms came up around Waverly and she thought about it. “Well, you only ate a banana the first time we slept together, then I saw you eating sweet and sour soup and fries at Shorty’s. I wondered if you were vegetarian or something. I didn’t want to risk it so I did some research and decided to go safe and keep it vegan until I figured out otherwise. You seemed pleased with the breakfast I made you last time, so yeah, I’ve been trying some things. Plain hummus sucks, but the roasted red pepper one is pretty tasty. That’s what I put in your sandwich last night.” 

Waverly’s eyes softened. “You did research for me?”

Nicole shrugged. “Wasn’t hard.”

*

If Nicole kept acting like it was effortless to know Waverly, her heart would soon up and fly away.

“Want to tell me what happened yesterday?” Nicole asked, rubbing Waverly’s back encouragingly.

Resting her head on Nicole’s chest, Waverly explained all of it. Willa returning home out of the blue. Wynonna’s reaction and her two sisters staying at the homestead so suddenly when it had been Waverly all alone for so many years. She confided in how it seemed like Wynonna and Willa were two peas in a pod all over again, just like when she was little and got sidelined and longed for attention that Wynonna only gave to her sparingly.

“It’s happening all over again,” Waverly whispered. “I know Wynonna loves me, but she has Willa back now. I wasn’t enough. Wynonna never came back for me and part of me hoped one day she would.”

“I don’t mean to overstep, but maybe Wynonna feels the same way you do,” Nicole said and held up a finger to Waverly’s lips when she lifted her head to swiftly protest. “Just hear me out. It’s possible that Wynonna felt she wasn’t good enough all these years for Willa to stay. And now she’s over the moon because her sister did come back.” Waverly tensed, not having thought of it that way, not having considered that Wynonna was a version of Waverly in her own fears and loneliness at the absence of a vital relationship. “Wynonna is probably blindsided with joy right now, overwhelmed and maybe a little lost to her own emotions, that doesn’t mean she loves you any less, Waverly. It just means she needs time to process Willa’s reappearance in her life, and she’s older now. Give her the benefit of the doubt. Give her time. She’ll be your Wynonna again as soon as the excitement wears off. You’re not alone. You have two big sisters and you should give them a chance to be there for you. What Willa did last night was wrong and you have to let her know it when you see her next. You’re going to have to teach her how to treat you so you never have to feel ignored and forgotten again. If she can’t get it together, then she’s the one who’s gonna miss out on the wonder that is Waverly Earp.”

Nicole looked into her eyes with such earnestness and the pieces of Waverly that had been suffering the most, scattering off in opposite directions, seemed to flit back together. A serenity washed over Waverly as attentive hands continued to stroke along her spine as if Nicole were rubbing comfort past her flesh and deep into her bones.

“Nicole…”

“Hm?”

“I feel so peaceful when I’m with you. You know what to do and what to say and you do it and say it without me asking and I’ve never had someone like you. Never. Ever. Ever.”

Waverly was so scared to lose this. She didn’t ever want Nicole to go away like everyone else. And if she expressed that fully, she was sure it would vanish like it had never existed. A new set of fears began to burgeon within her chest and squeeze her heart.

Her mind began to hurt and she hovered above Nicole, searching brown eyes and trusting the tenderness there.

Nicole cradled her cheek, wiped away her tears and kissed her forehead. Waverly in turn took the hand on her face and guided it lower, between her legs.

“Please,” she whispered as fingers brushed over the skimpy material of her underwear.

Nicole’s eyes darkened and her lids fluttered, hips twitching, and for a brief moment, Waverly caught the look of agony that passed over Nicole’s face. Waverly would hold that expression close to her heart, recognizing the torture she put the other woman through. It was undeniable to Waverly that she was being selfish, but she liked that for the first time in her life, she could be something not perfect and not scrambling to please, and still, Nicole remained with her, as willing as ever.

Willing to slip her fingers deep into Waverly as the smaller girl sat astride her hips and rode Nicole until she was flung into the blissfulness of not having to be anything but quivering muscle and searing pleasure for one long pure thoughtless eternity.

Waverly sank back into Nicole’s embrace, burrowing her face into Nicole’s neck and twisting her fingers in Nicole’s shirt, rubbing one leg up and down a pant-covered leg. Nicole’s body was tense and she laid so still Waverly’s heart ached.

She took Nicole’s hand and this time led it to the top of Nicole’s sweatpants.

“Can I watch?” she asked.

“Fuck,” Nicole cursed and gritted her teeth. “Waverly.”

“I know, baby. Please, I don’t want you aching like this. Please touch yourself.”

Nicole avoided making eye contact as the hand that had just pleasured Waverly slipped under her sweatpants and between her legs.

Waverly’s sex clenched. She stared at the movement of Nicole’s hand and slid her own hand up the inside of Nicole’s thigh, squeezing as she went, and Nicole froze, tensing and releasing in long convulsions.

Her body sagged under Waverly and she pulled her wet hand from her pants, eyes opening and staring up, unseeing at the ceiling.

“Kiss me,” Nicole pleaded, and Waverly did, shamelessly licking into Nicole’s pliant mouth and relishing it.

Waverly realized then that she was helpless, that if Nicole had asked her for something she had never before imagined herself doing, she was powerless to keep from throwing herself headlong into any plea or request that might come her way.

She pulled back, the image of Nicole’s slack face, shut eyes, and swollen lips searing into her mind. Waverly immediately yearned for more lazy open-mouthed kisses when she heard a faint buzzing close by. She looked around until her gaze landed on her purse where she had left it on Nicole’s dresser.

“Shoot,” she muttered, scrambling to get her phone. “Hello?” she answered while staring in the mirror at the reflection of the languorous body sprawled on the bed behind her.

“Babygirl! You’re not home! Where are you?”

“Willa had my jeep and ditched me. I didn’t have a way to get home. But I’m fine now, I’ll come when I’m ready.”

“Where are you?”

“Don’t worry, I’m safe. I’ll see you in a bit.”

There was silence before Wynonna grumbled an agreement.

Waverly stared down at her phone for a while, lost in thought until a body curved around hers from behind. Waverly looked up at the mirror in time to catch the marvelous sight of Nicole sleepily brushing her nose against her hair, dropping kisses and using her clean hand to clutch at Waverly’s bare stomach. “Gotta pee,” was the most romantic thing ever said against her ear like that, but it was the intimate way Nicole told her things.

They shared one more kiss before Nicole went to the bathroom. Waverly had been awake much longer, already having freshened up that morning and even double checked her assignment and emails before settling back atop the woman who had provided her with so much safety and comfort.

Throwing on just her shirt, and still in her panties, Waverly made her way to the kitchen and opened Nicole’s fridge, pulling out the package of cage-free turkey bacon, a box of local free-range eggs, and a stick of butter. She set up the coffee maker and toasted four slices of bread.

By the time Nicole was coming down the stairs twenty minutes later, there was a plate of bacon, scrambled eggs and buttered toast waiting for her while Waverly was sat at the kitchen Island, lathering her own two slices of bread with a scrumptious orange marmalade she had found in the fridge along with a bowl of washed raspberries and cherries.

Nicole’s jaw dropped slightly at the sight of breakfast. “Waverly…”

She sat down and reverently began forking some eggs onto a slice of toast, breaking off a piece of bacon and piling it on top, before shoving the food into her mouth, sighing as she chewed. 

Waverly burst with pride at the look of contentment drawn out over Nicole’s gorgeous face.

“How do you take your coffee?” Waverly asked, getting up to grab a mug and pour out the steaming liquid.

Nicole swallowed and stared at Waverly contemplatively. “One sugar is all.”

Then, “Dammit,” Nicole muttered when she swallowed another bite, accepting the coffee from Waverly. “You don’t need to do this. I would have just eaten a granola bar and some fruit so I could keep kissing you.”

Waverly beamed and after Nicole gingerly took a sip of her hot coffee, she cupped the redhead’s face between both hands and pressed a sweet kiss to a very tightly shut mouth, making Waverly giggle and press their mouths harder together until Nicole began laughing too, relenting and succumbing to the searching mouth on her own.

Waverly made sure her kiss was thorough, and that Nicole understood without a shadow of a doubt that this mouth could be on hers no matter what Nicole liked to eat.

It was something she had never done with Champ. He constantly expressed disdain over her meals, never offered to go somewhere she might like, forcing her to struggle to find something she could eat every time they went out together, and he had never once prepared her anything vegan, always saying that she would give it up when she missed real food. She had accepted that people would give her a hard time about her personal choices, so she did her best to keep her veganism under wraps to avoid uncomfortable conversations. And out of spite, she refused to kiss Champ after he gobbled down steaks and burgers like he had a point to prove whenever they were out.

But really, kissing Nicole after a mouthful of eggs and bacon felt like sweet relief. She would choose this mouth over and over again regardless because this person was special and thoughtful and giving and kind and deserved to be kissed and Waverly didn’t have anything to prove in this house. She could be vulnerable and complicated and understood.

“Thank you,” Nicole murmured into one last kiss before finishing off her breakfast and guzzling her coffee like caffeine was her one true love.

Waverly couldn’t wipe the smitten look off her face for the rest of her day.

Even when Wynonna demanded to know where she had been, she had just shrugged and said, “Out, what do you care? Not like you’ve ever stuck around,” before getting showered.

She later wrenched her car keys out of Willa’s hesitant hands, muttering a genuine, “I deserve better,” over an apology she didn’t want to hear, followed by, “Don’t let this happen again,” tossed over her shoulder as she left the house for her shift.

The minute she was safe in her jeep, she ran her hands delicately over the steering wheel.

She thought of brown eyes and auburn hair and self-assured hands. She looked at her own smaller hands. She flexed her fingers and saw the power they held to shape who she was becoming, to take hold of the things she wanted and to push away the things she didn’t.


	5. Chapter 5

Nicole had the most frustrating day, clashing with Sheriff Nedley for her arrest of Tucker Gardner after she caught him taking up-skirts of underage girls at a local rally.

Gardner had been in a cell for less than an hour before a hotshot lawyer had him out on bail. The case had already been dismissed somehow and Nicole knew if she ever met Judge Cryderman, she would want to memorize the face of a man who blatantly accepted bribes.

The whole ordeal was a reminder of just how new to this town she was. Nedley was pissed at the arrest and she was starting to think she didn’t want to work for a man who could let someone like Tucker off the hook.

Then her run in with Beth Gardner left a sour taste in her mouth. Little barbs like, “outsider,” and “butch,” dropping from a spoiled brat’s mouth that rattled beneath Nicole’s skin and threatened to release some of her tightly leashed temper.

“This isn’t over,” she muttered under her breath when she watched the Gardners leave the station with their lawyer. Nedley turned sulkier as hours passed by without Nicole’s guard coming down an inch. For a man who really took it out on her, he clearly had some hang-ups about the whole thing, and he fucking deserved to buckle under that guilt. Nicole had zero tolerance for the boys will be boys bullshit and if Nedley was willing to let it go over his head, Nicole decided she too would eventually go over his head.

On his way out that night, the Sheriff stopped at the front desk where Nicole was doing paperwork.

“It’s about the long game,” he said, dropping a confidential file in front of her. “I’m passing this case over to you. I think you’ll finally nail that sick son of a bitch, but don’t waste your time on small charges, you need something solid. You can have all the resources and hours you need on this one. The Gardners won’t be easy to take on with their sway in this town.”

Nicole accepted the file and for the first time that day the tightness in her chest unraveled for her superior. They shared the same look of relief to no longer be at odds.

“Thank you, Sir. Glad to know you’re who I thought you were when I accepted the position here.”

The Sheriff nodded, scrubbing a hand over his stubbled chin. “This line of work can harden you. The reality isn’t always on the side of justice, but seeing your unholy outrage today reminded me that a new generation is ready to fight the old battles, and maybe some of that spirit is what this town needs. I think I forgot today why I worked so hard to recruit you, but now I’m more sure of my choice. You’ll finish what I couldn’t. You’ll get the Gardners to see money can’t buy everyone’s morals.”

“You can bet on that,” Nicole said, standing up and holding out her hand. They shook in truce.

Officer Lonnie, a rookie, still green and fumbling with his position, came to take over front desk duty for Nicole, giving her time to sit at her own desk and study the file.

On her way out, she grabbed a duffle bag and filled it with supplies.

She drove her cruiser by Shorty’s and smiled at the red jeep in the parking lot. Her hand did a silly little thing from where it was slung around the passenger’s headrest and lifted in the direction of Waverly’s vehicle, like it wanted to reach out for any little reminiscence of the woman she kept finding herself in bed with. She dropped her hand and kept driving, too exhausted to think about what any of their encounters meant. She was just grateful she had some of the purity that was Waverly in her life.

*

Waverly got home after midnight to Willa sitting on the couch, waiting up for her with a bottle of wine and two glasses.

“I’m so sorry for not picking you up the other night,” her estranged sister started. “I was being stupid and got drunk with Wynonna and totally forgot to come get you.”

Waverly’s heart blistered. She sat down and accepted a glass.

“You were right yesterday when you said you deserve better and I want to be a better sister to you, Waverly. I freaked out when you weren’t home and I thought something happened when your boss said you’d left so late on your own.”

Doc had already told Waverly about the frantic call from Willa and the panicked visit from Wynonna. He was relieved when she came in for her shift and made her promise to accept a ride from him even if he had to leave the saloon in the hands of an inexperienced barback for a half hour.

“Willa,” Waverly replied sadly. “I don’t know you at all. I was so little when you left and all I have are these cruel memories of you and now that you’re back, it’s the same all over again. If this keeps happening, one day it might be too late, and for Wynonna’s sake, I really don’t want that.”

“I don’t either. Not just for Wynonna, but for us, too. Can we just…start over?”

Waverly accepted the clammy hand that Willa held out. “Okay, but don’t ditch me again. I had an assignment due and you could have really screwed me up.”

Willa winced. “Shit. I didn’t know you even went to college. I just thought you worked at Shorty’s.”

Waverly shrugged. “I’m doing my courses online.”

“Oh.” There was a long pause and Waverly could tell Willa was struggling to hold back some sort of remark, but clearly caught herself when she smiled and squeezed Waverly’s hand. “Good for you. That’s more than me or Wynonna ever did.”

They sat together for a while, sipping white wine and chatting until Waverly’s eyes couldn’t stay open. They hugged goodnight and when Waverly slipped into her room, she found Wynonna in her bed, snuggling Mr. Plumpkins, her tattered old teddy bear with one missing eye.

Waverly sat at the edge of the bed and gently pulled Mr. Plumpkins out of Wynonna’s grip. She stared down at him and remembered how Willa used to torture him when they were kids. She brushed her index over his damaged eyeball and a flash of the white scar near Nicole’s left eye entered her mind. She blinked away tears as she remembered how her younger self would cry for her teddy bear, as if he could really feel pain whenever Willa brutalized him to make Waverly do what she wanted.

“God, I was so stupid,” she sighed, kissing the stuffed animal’s head. An arm wound its way across her midsection and Wynonna’s face pressed up against her side.

“You’re the smartest person I know, babygirl. There aren’t enough words to tell you how sorry I am that I didn’t stick around to tell you that.”

Waverly cradled Wynonna’s head in her lap and let her tears fall. In all the bleedings of past and present sorrow, a bit of hopefulness intertwined with the hurt and colored her emotions with intricate sweetness and affection. How a thing could hurt and heal in harmony filled Waverly with the understandings of adulthood. Life was muddy and ugly and beautiful and senseless and the universe was thoughtful and chaotic and broke you and spread poetry through the veins of your memories in mindful madness, made logic and lunacy twin reflections. Sometimes you had to give into the world and sometimes you had to shape your own life and it was becoming clearer that there was no one way, just a number of ways and you could walk all of them and never find the end because maybe there was no end. There was just running blindly until you hit the edge of a cliff or slowing down to take steadier steps, to stop and enjoy the infinite beauty of life along the way as the sands of time slowly ran out.

Waverly held her big sister very close and kissed her hair and loved her with all of her heart. Wynonna became so small in her arms and so fragile and for the second time in Waverly’s life, she had a deep understanding of how powerful she was. To know the universe, to be known by the universe.

It was a wonderous awakening for her, on the cusp of maturity, in the innocence of youth, Waverly Earp was becoming someone bigger than her fears of the future and the glum whispers of her past.

*

Nicole’s phone buzzed and she unlocked it, seeing a text message.

_Can I call you? -Waves_

Nicole hit the dial icon and the phone rang twice before Waverly answered.

“Hey, you haven’t come by Shorty’s in a while. What have you been up to?”

“On a stake out, is all.”

“Ooooh. That sounds so cool! You must feel like a spy!” Waverly exclaimed.

Nicole chuckled. “It’s actually just a lot of sitting around and waiting. There are more interesting things I could be doing. To you, preferably.” Nicole heard a little sigh at that. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“You haven’t done anything to me in some days now.”

Arousal shot through Nicole’s core at the low tones of Waverly’s voice.

“What do you want me to do to you?” Nicole asked.

There was stark silence as it fell upon them both what direction this conversation was heading towards.

“I…” Waverly hesitated. “I just want to feel you on top of me. It doesn’t matter what you do to me. I want you looking at me the way you do. You see me. I don’t think anyone sees me the way you do.”

“What I see, Waverly, is extraordinary. I feel starved when I’m with you, like I can’t get enough of you in my hands, in my mouth. I just want all of you,” she confessed.

“That night when you left me in your room all alone, I wanted to touch myself.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I was shy. I wanted you to come back and find me in your bed, open for you.”

“Fuck.”

“I wanted you inside me. Really deep inside me.”

“Waverly,” Nicole warned, uncomfortably shifting in her seat, squeezing her eyes shut.

“I’ve never been like this. Filthy for someone.”

“Jesus, Waverly! Where are you?”

“Why? Are you going to come find me?”

“I can’t, baby, but when I get my hands on you, you’re in for it.”

“I love your hands on me.”

“Where are you?”

“Alone in my room.”

“Is your door locked?”

“Yes.”

“Well, imagine my hands on you now,” Nicole said. “Imagine me on you, in you.”

Soft gasps fells from Waverly’s lips over the line and Nicole knew exactly what the other woman was doing.

“Imagine my mouth on yours. Sometimes I feel like I’m kissing you too hard, too much, but I can’t help it, I love how you open your mouth for me when you’re coming. You stop making sounds and your whole body goes still under me and when you finally let go, sometimes I just want to keep fucking you until you push me off. I’d love permission to give you orgasm after orgasm until you’re all wrung out. I want to see how far I can go before you shut your legs and beg me to stop. It’s a twisted part of me that wants you falling apart in my arms over and over again.”

“Fuck, I’m gonna-”

“You’re going to come, I know, baby. You always come for me. You can’t help it when you get fucked well, you hold onto me and become a desperate little thing, thrashing under me, clutching at me, calling my name out.”

“Nic – oh god! Nicole!”

“That’s right, Waves. Fuck yourself just like that. Nice and fast.”

“Shit!”

“Don’t stop now.”

“I…fuck.”

Nicole heard the hitch in Waverly’s breath and let out one of her own, shuddering at how wet she could feel she was, knowing she could do nothing about it. Waverly Earp was brought into her life to torture her in a most delightful manner.

Long moments later, shy and soft, Waverly whispered, “Wow.”

“Feel better?”

“Much. I can’t wait to see you. Get my hands on you,” Waverly said, and there was an intention there that Nicole hadn’t heard before. Hadn’t expected. It startled her silent.

Her phone buzzed and a quick glance at the screen informed her that she had incoming.

“Shit. Sorry, Waverly. I’m about to have some company. Can we pick this up later?”

“Most definitely. Good night, Officer. Thank you for your assistance.”

Nicole laughed. “You’re welcome. Sweet dreams.”

“They will be.” Waverly hung up and Nicole stared disbelieving at her phone before refocusing on the little flashing dot on her tracking app.

“Gotchya,” she muttered, pulling off the side of the highway.

*

Wynonna and Willa were perched at the bar in front of Waverly, laughing and drinking, on and off playing pool together and competing at darts before stumbling back to their whiskeys and beers. Waverly liked that they kept coming back to keep her company and begging her to play with them. It was the first genuine moment where she knew both of her sisters wanted her company, could feel their longing to spend time together.

But somehow, despite everything good and wholesome happening, her mind kept wandering to the phone call from six days ago. The things Nicole had said to her, things that made Waverly do something so outrageously bold over the phone, it drowned everything out of her mind and had her stomach twisting with constant waves of lust. Every time another surge hit her, it was a shock that she could be reduced to something so needy and wanting. She had never walked an entire day in her life in soaked panties until she met Nicole Haught. It was actually a problem.

Nicole had been more than open with her in the fact that she was in the middle of an ongoing investigation, and that she would be less around until things started going her way, but the thoughtful responses and check-ins only made Waverly burn hotter for a moment alone with the deputy.

Like a wicked balm come to sate her arousal, in walked the uniformed devil herself.

Waverly felt two distinct sentiments at that moment. Glorious relief to set eyes on the physical body of her secret lover followed swiftly by devastating panic at the realization that both of her sisters were present.

Nedley appeared behind Nicole, leading them to a corner table, away from the bustling of a busy Friday night, where they took their seats, getting into a deep discussion. Waverly thought it was nice that Nedley finally got Nicole to join him for that drink.

She turned away from her sisters who were talking about setting up some cans at the homestead for drunken target practice to prepare a whiskey on ice and a glass of ginger ale with a splash of rum. She walked around the bar to deliver the drinks.

“For my two favorite law enforcement officers,” she announced brightly, the tension in her body diminishing as brown eyes looked up at her warmly. “These are on the house,” she said, resting her hand on Nicole’s shoulder, knowing it was innocuous enough with how friendly she was, but also knowing the way Nicole would think on the touch, understanding it meant more than what anyone’s eyes could see.

“Waverly,” Nedley greeted, taking the glass and raising it. “Thank you. How have you been? Anybody givin’ you trouble? Even those sisters of yours?” he asked, eyeing the two women at the bar who were pretending not to pay any mind to their little sister with the Sheriff and his deputy.

“No, no trouble, Sheriff Nedley.” Waverly tightened her grip on Nicole’s shoulder. She could feel Nicole’s presence burning into her even if Nicole herself was casually sipping her whiskey. “I hope you two enjoy your night, just wave me over for a refill.”

“Will do,” the Sheriff replied.

“Thank you, Miss Earp,” came Nicole’s soft voice, and boy if that didn’t make her whole panty situation worse.

“You’re welcome,” she said, dropping her hand and heading back behind the bar where she had customers waiting.

“You know Officer Haughty?” Wynonna asked in the midst of Waverly passing over drinks and accepting cash.

“Yes, remember when I told you I punched Champ in the face?”

Wynonna beamed with pride. “How could I forget that?”

Willa perked up. She knew of Champ, but not the sordid details. “You punched your ex?”

Wynonna turned to Willa conspiratorially, hanging one arm on her shoulder. “We for sure don’t like Champ. He cheated on babygirl and went all grabby hands on her so she broke his nose.”

“Huh.” Willa made a face of approval. She looked to Waverly, raising her shot glass. “Good job, baby sis.” That was new. Waverly faltered, but found herself warming to the nickname from her eldest sister.

“Yeah, so Officer Haught was the one who arrested him. She was super helpful when she took my statement.”

“Guess she’s a good one,” Wynonna said thoughtfully. “I met her a while back at the station and she’s badass, but like nice about it? Still a narc though.”

Waverly rolled her eyes. “Technically you’re a narc, too.”

Wynonna gasped. “How could you? I am a bounty hunter. That’s way more cool!”

Willa took that moment to tell Wynonna, “You have peanuts in your hair,” making the middle sister swat at her scalp in a decidedly not cool manner, causing Willa and Waverly to share an amused smile.

Waverly was helping Doc refill the taps when she caught sight of Nicole in her periphery standing up. For a second, she worried the officer was leaving already, but Nicole turned, and their eyes met. Waverly looked down, smiling to herself and found she was painfully aware of every step taken towards her. She wiped both her hands with a dishtowel and met Nicole across the bar, having to remind herself not to reach out and grab hold of Nicole. Her hands fisted on the counter – touch-starved.

Nicole perched herself on a stool allowing their faces to be level and the small uptick of her mouth made Waverly long to kiss a full-blown smile onto those lips.

“Was there something else you needed, Officer?” Waverly asked, not unaware of the fact that the people of Purgatory, her sisters at the top of that list, were nosy and most definitely paying attention to the shiny new deputy and the town’s sweetheart.

“Two cold brews please. And if you could start a tab in my name.”

“No problem,” Waverly said and grabbed two beer glasses. As she was pouring, Kyle York got up from his table in the middle of the bar and placed himself a little too close to Nicole, standing over her in a rather menacing manner.

“Heard you arrested Tucker for nothing,” he accused, spurred on by his alcohol-addled brain, and Nicole’s head tilted dangerously, dark glance cutting up at him. “Don’t you have something better to do than harass good folks in this town? The Gardners employ a lot of us, you know and you shouldn’t be messin’ around with our paychecks.”

Nicole slowly rose to her full height, hand resting on her hip above her Smith & Wesson as she towered over the construction worker.

The saloon fell silent at the standoff. Waverly stood frozen, catching the twitch of Nicole’s eye as she stepped even closer to Kyle, getting into his space as much as he had gotten into hers.

Voice low, yet deafening in the dead quiet of the bar, she replied with, “Nicole Haught. Sheriff’s Deputy. Station 62. If you have a complaint, call 555-0145 and file that complaint with my superior, but do _not_ come houndin’ me while I’m off-duty havin’ a drink. Are we clear, Mr. York?”

Apparently sobered by the fact that Nicole knew his name, Kyle stumbled back a step, gripping the bar and blinking rapidly as if realizing the authority and position Nicole held over him. “S-Sorry, Officer. Didn’t mean no harm.” He looked around awkwardly and made his way back to his table where his brother sat, shaking his head.

Waverly forced herself forward, setting down the two drinks that had been freezing her hands. Nicole picked up the beers and said, “Thank you,” heading over to Nedley who had gotten up, looking like he had been ready to intervene. They sat down and continued like nothing happened. It took a few more seconds before the sounds of pool balls breaking and soft chattering started up again.

Doc was smirking as he worked the register, enjoying the excitement that always managed to come about in his establishment.

“Holy shit sticks,” Wynonna said when Waverly was in hearing distance. “Red Haught really just went all here’s my name and location, come at me, bruh. If I had money to waste, I would buy that chick a drink!”

Wynonna wasn’t the only patron to share that sentiment. Doc eventually went over to Nicole and Nedley to tell them their tab was covered for the night, but that didn’t stop both Nedley and Nicole from leaving a ridiculous amount in the tip jar that pretty much covered what they would have owed anyway before they headed out together.

As soon as Nicole was out the door, Waverly found herself on her phone, sending off a text.

_Can I come see you tonight?_

A moment later, she received one back.

_I’ll leave my door unlocked. -Nic_

Waverly had purposely set Nicole’s name that way due to her own paranoia of someone catching her in the middle of a text or phone call. The thought of being caught made her gut churn and yet she was incapable of stopping any of it, would do it over and over again, and knew she would have zero regrets.

Her only regret these days was that she had to question everything for the sake of who she had feelings for and the deeper her feelings ran, the less she seemed to care about the day when she would have to explain them aloud. Every night spent in Nicole’s arms, her arguments against what she was doing faded and were being replaced by arguments of why she ought to return there.

Her sisters would not be happy to be ditched, but Waverly couldn’t help herself. She had always done everything with everyone in mind, but it felt so good to be self-serving. To have a life and not mold it for anyone else. To have some place to be and not be where she was expected, but where she chose.

With a promise from Doc to get her drunken siblings safely to the homestead, Waverly climbed into her jeep after midnight and found herself pulling up to the house past the Pine Barrens, next to Nicole’s cruiser.

The lights were on and the front door opened for her as promised.

“Nicole!” she called from the doorway and felt more than heard a presence behind her. She spun on her heel to see Nicole standing at the bottom of the porch stairs, still in uniform. She looked insurmountable to Waverly, posed there, bathed in the low lights from inside, knee bent, boot up a step. Her hand rested on the railing and her eyes regarded Waverly curiously.

Waverly would always remember this night vividly. She would later describe it as an out of body experience, like her spirit had taken flight to watch and memorize who she became that night for the sole purpose of cherishing this one life-altering moment.

She held her hand out and Nicole reached up to take it. They remained staring at each other for a while, like they both knew they were heading towards something new. Waverly walked them backwards, pulling Nicole up the steps, setting her purse down while Nicole pushed and locked her front door with her free hand.

Nicole moved in to kiss her, but Waverly caught hold of the stiff material of her shirt and whirled them around, guiding and pushing Nicole into the living room until she fell back, landing heavily in the middle of her couch, eyes wild with surprise.

“Waverly,” she uttered brokenly, like she knew what Waverly was planning to do to her. A thrill ran down Waverly’s spine, hairs raising at the back of her neck. She pushed off her jacket, letting it hit the floor, and for once she loomed over Nicole, shoving herself between the officer’s legs, forcing them apart. Nicole’s lips parted and her hips jolted. The movement lit a fire in Waverly. She bent over, bracing with one knee at the edge of the cushion, hands holding either side of a beautiful face to plant a bruising kiss on Nicole’s gorgeous mouth, using her tongue in a way she never had before, luring soft whimpers and feminine groans from her lover, noises she had never been blessed with before, but that would always belong to her.

Her hands greedily unbuttoned Nicole’s pale blue shirt, revealing a white tank top underneath. Waverly tugged the shirt and tank from Nicole’s pants and slipped her hands under to feel hot skin.

Nicole’s hands slid up her sides, tugging in an attempt to get Waverly onto her lap, but Waverly resisted, pushing Nicole’s hands off of her. She grabbed Nicole’s open collars, wrenching her face closer so their eyes met.

“Don’t,” she ordered. “You’re mine tonight.”

“Fuck,” Nicole cursed, and Waverly swallowed it, relishing in her power and control over the exquisite Athena under her spell.

She released the collars and waited until Nicole opened her eyes again before lowering herself to her knees in front of Nicole at a painstakingly slow pace, memorizing how brown eyes blackened and the way a stunningly angular jaw slackened. Nicole’s chest heaved when Waverly’s hands found the belt loops at her sides and pulled, dragging her body lower down the couch, until Nicole’s pelvis was at the edge of the seat, offering the most enticing display of her lean hips and muscular torso for Waverly to admire.

Waverly unsnapped Nicole’s gun holster and carefully removed the firearm, warming at the trust Nicole surrendered to her, allowing her to hold her weapon and set it aside on the coffee table. Her hands rested on Nicole’s belt buckle, pausing to take strength in Nicole’s gaze trained on her every move.

“Baby,” Nicole whispered, hips lifting unconsciously, and arousal gripped Waverly so sharply she thought she would suffocate on it. She didn’t know it could be like this for her, too.

She unclipped the belt, pulled it open, unbuttoning and unzipping Nicole’s black police pants, dragging them down to her boots, revealing her in skin-tight briefs, and she was so sexy this way – tousled, exposed and panting, tensed like livewire, soft and obedient to Waverly’s explorations.

Waverly pressed her face into Nicole’s clothed sex. Hands slid roughly down to her shoulders, fisting the back of Waverly’s shirt, holding on for dear life. Waverly pulled the underwear down to join her pants and stared at Nicole open for her, trim auburn curls that she brushed her fingers over in worship, and swollen bud that Waverly wanted to pleasure, but the sheer wetness between Nicole’s legs gave her pause.

She knew how long she made Nicole wait for this and thought of every instance she had left Nicole wet and throbbing, alone and unpleasured. Hands slipped round the back of Waverly’s neck, clasping gently together under her hair and she looked up into Nicole’s tender face.

“This is all I want,” Waverly said out of nowhere, surprising them both. “I never want to leave here.”

Nicole’s grip on the back of her neck became firm and she leaned down to kiss Waverly senselessly, sweetly, lovingly.

“Thank you,” fell from Waverly’s mouth before she promptly buried her face between Nicole’s legs, delighting in the cries of pleasure her mouth on Nicole elicited from her once untouchable stranger.

A sickening thought crossed her mind. What if she had never followed Nicole out to her car that night? What if she never had the chance to be here, like this, with this brazen creature? Tears pricked at her eyes and a lump formed in her throat at the possibility of being so scared of this, of remaining paralyzed with the expectations of others, of her former self. The fear was followed by immense waves of relief that somehow her feet did guide her out to chase after the woman, and she felt she owed the universe endless gratitude for this one precious thing.

Waverly licked in long messy strokes, trying to taste as much of Nicole as possible, wanting to fuse herself between her legs as if this gift of a human would vanish from under her.

Waverly took deep breaths and nosed along Nicole’s clit, laving her tongue over the pulsing flesh, saliva mixing with Nicole’s wetness as she sucked and pulled with her lips. The flavor was something she never expected to be so pleasing, the softness addicting, the heat a comfort, and the intense writhing of the body beneath her mouth uniquely riveting.

The hands on her neck moved to the back of her scalp, holding on rigidly as Nicole’s hips began rolling in time with Waverly’s mouth.

“I’m close,” she gasped, and Waverly slid her arms around Nicole’s bared thighs, holding her open so she could press her tongue into the hole that made her feel obscene with thoughts of filling this goddess with everything she was.

“Shit, Waves!”

Waverly started a pattern, going down on Nicole ferociously, pulling at her clit, forcing her tongue inside of Nicole and when she realized she couldn’t do both at the same time, she brought her hand up, sliding one finger inside. At Nicole’s sudden stillness, she stopped to look up at Nicole’s tight jaw and eyes squeezing shut. She pushed in again experimentally and Nicole’s breath staggered, hips rolling once more into the pleasure. Waverly added a second finger, in love with the hot silkiness surrounding her digits and felt every spasm of Nicole’s, every ripple of her muscles, every contraction bringing her closer to release, and the gush of liquid heat only spurred Waverly into thrusting her fingers faster as she suctioned her mouth over Nicole in a way Nicole often did to her that made her so weak and always flung her into orgasm. It seemed it worked the same on Nicole because her thrashing became more violent under Waverly and her grip on Waverly’s hair strengthened until Waverly knew it would take some effort to pull away, though pulling away was the last thing on her mind. She learned she quite liked Nicole grinding sloppily against her mouth and coming apart under her care and attention.

Waverly hadn’t been exaggerating when she had confessed that she never wanted to leave this place. As Nicole was catching her breath, Waverly’s arms clung around her thighs and she remained on her knees, resting her cheek in Nicole’s most intimate space. Fingers carded adoringly through strands of her long brown hair and let her stay a while in the most marvelous and welcoming region Waverly had ever come to discover.

Sitting back on her knees, she stared up at Nicole in wonder, sharing the understanding of what was so beautiful about this act shared between two women. Waverly smiled radiantly and took hold of Nicole’s leg, pulling one boot off, then the next, removing socks and pants with them. Nicole’s steady hands helped her rise to her feet and Waverly pushed off Nicole’s shirt, rid her of her undershirt and bra and then she stepped back, undressing herself for Nicole.

Naked and bare, innocent and vulnerable their bodies intwined, Nicole bringing Waverly on top of her. They lay back together, sprawled on the couch, embracing and clutching onto one another as Waverly tucked her face into Nicole’s chest, cheek comfortably smushed between her breasts.

Nicole rhythmically ran one set of fingers through her hair, the other gliding down between her shoulder blades, all along her spine.

When Waverly shivered, Nicole tugged the duvet that hung on the back of her couch, covering them, their arms winding round each other tighter as they hugged.

Slowly, tears spilled over from hazel eyes and Waverly shuddered with the enormity of her emotions, trying to press herself deeper and deeper into the warmth of Nicole.

Soft lips kissed away her tears, whispered in her ear, “It’s okay,” and when she moved up to steal a kiss, as they aligned, chest to chest, Waverly felt the moment her heart slunk out of its prison and began to beat wildly inside Nicole’s ribcage.


	6. Chapter 6

Nicole Haught would it like to be known that she had never been accused of being a pillow princess. But if someone was going to accuse her of such a thing, she supposed it was only fitting that it be herself.

It had been less than a week since Waverly had completely turned their dynamic upside down and the following days had become a reckoning.

“Fuck, I can’t, I can’t, baby please,” she begged. She was so sore – her thighs trembled, her abs ached and if she came one more damn time, she feared death by dehydration.

She was covered in sweat and her jaw hurt from being clamped down so hard. She might have been turned into a temporary pillow princess, but no way would she become a screamer, too. She had to draw the line somewhere.

Waverly pressed one more honeyed kiss to her nether region before crawling up and leaning on an elbow to look down at her with an expression of absolute reverence. That look is what caused this all to happen and keep happening. Nicole understood that Waverly was finding the act of giving pleasure to be life affirming. All Waverly seemed to want to do lately was crawl back between her legs any time they found themselves together.

At this point, Waverly had more of a relationship with her vagina than with Nicole herself, and it was kind of adorable how lust-addled the younger woman had become for her.

Waverly took her arm and maneuvered it so she could lay her head on Nicole’s shoulder and cuddle up into her side, her hand resting on Nicole’s chest. That was new, too, the way Waverly’s hand always found her heart when they were entangled, like she was tending to it. It was an odd thought and Nicole tried not to have it, but with how often it was happening, she couldn’t help but think it.

“Are you okay?” Waverly asked into her ear.

A wide smile broke over Nicole’s face, eyes crinkling, dimples unleashed in full force. “I don’t think anyone’s ever made me come so much in my life.”

Waverly’s eyes filled with pride and Nicole laughed.

“Really?” she asked. “I figured tons of women would have had their way with you.”

Nicole pulled Waverly tighter to her until they shuffled to face each other, coming into each other’s space, lips brushing. Nicole asked, “You like having your way with me?”

Waverly’s hand slid up from Nicole’s spine, into her hair, tugging possessively. She pushed her bare thigh between Nicole’s legs, sliding it back and forth against the slippery wetness. Nicole was helpless to do anything but let herself be handled, and she was so sensitive, but also, she was so pathetically Waverly’s plaything.

Waverly pressed their foreheads together, claiming Nicole’s gasps for herself. When Nicole opened her eyes and saw the anguish written all over Waverly’s face, she hugged the girl close and rolled them over so she was finally on top, slotting her own thigh between Waverly’s legs to offer her some relief. It would have been enough to get them off, but Nicole wanted to give Waverly that connection she was constantly seeking. She pushed up onto her knees, taking Waverly’s leg with her, shifting until their centers joined, pressing her left hand down firmly on Waverly’s chest to let her know who was in control. The sensation of the wet glide back and forth against each other stole both their breaths and Waverly looked positively awestruck as she surrendered to this new form of stimulation.

“This is amazing,” she cried, holding on for dear life to the arm that kept her pinned down to the mattress. “I can feel everything, I can feel you, Nic. Please fuck me like this.”

Nicole gritted her teeth together and pulled Waverly’s leg tighter over her hip, giving her the leverage she needed to start a nice steady grind.

Fingernails bit into her skin as her thrusts picked up force, hips buckling with the pleasure from every swipe of Waverly’s pulsing clit on her own.

“Yes, so good, Nicole, just like that.”

Nicole could feel Waverly’s spasming muscles pushed intimately up into her cunt as they came together and when her elbow bent just a little as she caught her breath, Waverly took advantage of the give and pulled Nicole down on top of her, clinging and mouthing at whatever skin she could get to, planting messy kisses along her shoulder and neck, body still undulating under Nicole’s weight.

“I didn’t know we could both come like that,” Waverly panted. “I think I found a new favorite thing for us.”

Nicole chuckled. “If I come one more time, Purgatory is gonna be down a deputy.”

“Only because I love going down on this deputy,” Waverly said into Nicole’s mouth, causing laughter to erupt between them. Their kisses went from happily exhausted to endlessly exploring.

Turns out Nicole was able to come two more times before she rolled off the side of the bed to escape the sex addict holding her hostage. That solution didn’t last very long since Waverly rolled off after her and they discovered that rugburn was a thing.

*

Waverly was finding it difficult to leave Nicole, and to leave Nicole naked was a real test of willpower. They somehow made it into clothes and fed each other fruit and coffee and kissed at the door, then on the porch, and then through Waverly’s open car window, and Waverly considered turning her jeep around as the outline of Nicole faded in the distance from her rearview mirror.

She steered down winding roads and past the windswept woodlands, delighting in the journey. She smiled at youthful little souls as she passed by a church and school and gazed at strangers going about their day as she pulled onto Main Street.

A couple walked by, a handsome man with a pretty girl tucked into his arms – their two bodies walking in complete synchronicity as one – Waverly saw herself in her mind’s eye smiling up at Nicole, her smaller frame enveloped by the officer’s taller one. Her lids fluttered closed and she could almost feel the sun bathing her skin, the giddiness in her spirit, the scent of vanilla filling her senses, the wind whipping her hair, the precious kisses that would drop all over her face when no one was paying them any mind. Such happy thoughts made her eyes water because it seemed so possible and yet, when she opened her eyes again, she saw impossibilities.

She saw a vision of Nicole pitying her, kissing her goodbye, creating an ending to what for Waverly was just beginning. She saw Nicole who was older and wiser uninterested in staying behind to watch her grow and flourish.

She saw people all around her who laughed or fussed at her for loving a woman and she saw herself unbothered by all of it, too busy heartbroken over a love that never was. How could she tell Nicole? How could she whisper or scream all these feelings at her and convince her to return them?

How long could she wait to say it?

*

Almost a month’s work of stakeouts and investigating led Nicole to an abandoned ranch off Highway 12, standing in front of Tucker Gardner, pistol drawn, backup en route. He held Poppy Sandsen, a teenage girl he had drugged and kidnapped, against his front, hunting blade glinting as smooth steel pressed into the skin of her throat.

“If you hurt her,” Nicole warned. “There is no going back. It’s not just a couple up-skirts, it’s the end of the road. This place will be surrounded in minutes, so think hard, Tucker. You use that knife, you might never see past a prison cell again.”

“I’m not stupid,” he seethed. “I know what I’m doing and I’m not going to jail. You’re going to let me and my girl walk out of here or you’ll be responsible for her blood all over these walls.”

Nicole made eye contact with the half-dressed girl and let her gaze travel slowly down to where Poppy had a hairbrush in hand. The girl looked down at the item, puzzled. Maybe, Nicole thought, waiting.

She gave a slow nod and understanding dawned on the girl. She raised her hand and slammed the brush handle into Tucker’s thigh, surprising him just enough for Poppy to push his knife hand away and plunge down to the floor, scurrying off as Nicole fired a bullet into his shoulder.

Tucker must have been on some cocktail of drugs because he barely reacted to the pain, blood oozing from the wound. “You bitch!” he yelled, pelting his knife towards her.

The knife was headed for her face, rendering her bulletproof vest useless. Her eyes squinted and she lurched back a step, bringing her forearm up hard, slamming it against the blade and hissing as it sliced through her jacket and into skin before clattering to the ground.

She brought herself back into firing position, but Tucker was insane and launched himself right out the second-floor window, glass shattering everywhere.

The threat was no longer imminent so Nicole went straight to Poppy and checked her for injuries, skimming her fingers along the girl’s bruised face as she sobbed. “It’s okay, you’re safe now,” she promised. “Are you hurt anywhere else?”

“I don’t think so,” the girl said and threw her arms around Nicole’s neck. “Is he dead?”

“If you’re all right, I can check.”

The girl nodded vigorously, terror painting her young face at the thought of her kidnapper still on the move.

Nicole sprinted over to the window and her eyes searched, pupils adjusting to the cloak of darkness outside with scarce moonlight offering little illumination, but it was sufficient enough for Nicole’s skilled gaze to lock onto Tucker’s crumpled form staggering away as fast as he could toward a line of trees thirty yards away where he could find some cover.

Nicole took a knee by the sill, steadying her arms and taking a deep breath, getting her aim right as she sighted her target. She exhaled, finger gently squeezing the trigger. Her ears rang as the bullet blasted out of the chamber – down went Tucker Gardner, body spinning as he hit the dirt.

With her adrenaline wearing off, Nicole could hear sirens and see flashing lights in the distance. She flipped the safety back on her gun and her chest became tight as the events of the night hammered down on her.

She stood on unsteady legs and holstered her firearm, offering an update into her radio.

Nedley ordered her to stay with the girl while they checked Tucker.

A medic came up to examine Poppy first, then in a haze Nicole was sat down and her arm was wrapped.

Nedley had her escorted by another deputy to the hospital for stitches. She had shot Tucker twice, once in the shoulder and the second dead center in the chest. He was still breathing, but Nicole knew it was a kill shot. In minutes, the organ she hit would fail him and that was that.

“You’re in shock,” a doctor told her, but Nicole was aware of that because she watched him making the neat stitches in her arm but did not feel a thing as she stared at the needle pulling through her flesh. She saw herself from a strange angle, thoughts distorted and erratic.

She was released within the hour with prescription papers and instructions on how to clean her wound.

Office Lonnie drove her to the station, chattering on and on, but his voice was a dull echo rattling in the back of her mind. She was set up in an interrogation room where her uniform and gun were collected for evidence. Protocol in these matters. She changed into one of the old dark blue uniform button ups that were no longer in use and a pair of PSD sweatpants. Nedley found her a spare police jacket, saying she looked cold. She pulled it on, letting out a shaky breath under the bright lights of the cramped room. She was given a cup of coffee and an Internal Affairs Officer sat opposite her. He made her relive the night over and over, clinical in his line of questioning, until he was satisfied with her account of the events. He shook her hand, grabbed his briefcase and left.

When Nedley dropped her home, she trudged inside, not bothering to turn the lights on. She collapsed onto her couch, head tossed back as she stared up at the ceiling. She covered her face with her forearms in a poor attempt to block everything out.

She got the text shortly after that Tucker had flatlined and flashes of wretched things she had buried far away resurfaced from the recesses of her mind.

She tossed her phone aside and rubbed harshly at her face, pressing the heels of her palms into her eyes. An old panic struck down the middle of her chest and she slid off the couch, onto her knees, doubling over. She couldn’t breathe and she drove her shaky hands into her hair, grabbing fistfuls, rucking it back and forth. She tugged the police jacket off, suffocating under the heavy material. 

She undid her shirt buttons and freed her neck, forcing air into her lungs, flexing her fingers against her arms, wincing as she agitated her already forgotten wound, but she let herself sink into the sensation of pain.

She was alive and she had killed a man and she had no other choice. He was a criminal. He committed harm and it wasn’t the first time from what she had uncovered during her investigation. If she didn’t take that second shot, there existed a small, but real possibility he would have evaded capture, and Nicole fired her gun in the breadth of that possibility – _you will do no more harm_ , she had decided, and fulfilled the most difficult task in her line of work – committing harm herself.

She calmed down with this knowledge and braced her back against the couch and listened to the quiet, to the ticking of the clock and the soft winds that pattered by from time to time. The nightmares would come again, and as she did every once in a while in her life, she took a moment to be truly alone. To sink into the solitude that was ever familiar. She was here again. In the dark. Nine years old, running blindly through the woods, footsteps closing in on her. Nicole had never really stopped running. She didn’t think people like her ever could.

*

Waverly had barely started her four o’clock shift when she overheard murmurings about the Gardners. She was aware of the fact that Nicole had arrested Tucker last month and that it stirred up controversy, but Tucker always struck her as a creep so she could barely bother to care why he was arrested or what happened to him after.

Then Wynonna came into the bar, chatting with her ex-boyfriend Pete York.

“Kyle feels like such an idiot, he sent flowers and a sorry note to the Sheriff’s department.”

Wynonna scoffed. “What a tool. I’m sure Red Haught couldn’t give a flying shitsickle about him right now. But I can’t believe Tucker is dead. That family was so damn untouchable.”

“Beth Gardner threatened to sue, but I mean, she can’t actually follow through because Lonnie told me Tucker was caught for kidnapping and drugging Poppy with intent to rape.”

Waverly’s head spun at the information. Poppy? Poppy Sandsen? She was a polite young girl still in high school that helped her father run the local flower shop. Waverly had only visited a few times, but she recalled the girl’s shyness as she arranged bouquets and quietly explained why roses were often misunderstood. “They have thorns for a reason,” she had said.

“Poppy, as in the florist’s daughter?” Waverly cut in. “Is she okay?”

Wynonna looked at her sister with a reassuring smile. “Yeah, no worries, babygirl. I saw her at the station with her dad earlier. She was obviously frazzled, but safe and sound.”

“Oh good,” Waverly said. “That’s good.”

“Yeah. Tucker is dead though,” Wynonna continued, filling her in. “Shot twice and fell out a window. Too good for him if you ask me. Bet that skid mark has a whole history of perverted shit going on.”

Pete grimaced. “And people like my own brother defended that guy, it’s a real mindfuck to me.”

Wynonna shrugged and ordered a beer. “On Pete,” she said, grinning as he rolled his eyes, but nodded for Waverly to serve them anyway.

It took a minute. Waverly was already setting down their drinks when her brain screeched to a halt.

“Wynonna, you said Tucker is dead?”

“Yes.” She gave Waverly a look. “That is what I just said.”

“Who…Who shot him?”

“Oh, that’s the best part. Officer Haught. A real lone wolf about it, too. Went in there solo, shot the douchebag and singlehandedly saved Poppy. My kinda gal.”

“Wynonna, did this happen today?”

“Last night, around one in the morning.”

Waverly felt sick.

“Wynonna, is she okay?”

Her sister shared a look with Pete. He answered, “Yeah, Officer Haught is fine. She’s out the hospital already.”

“The hospital?” Waverly repeated. The floor shifted beneath her feet and her mind dizzied. 

“Tucker got her with a knife, but since they let her go already, it can’t have been that bad.”

“I see.” Waverly picked up a tray of dirty glasses and took them to the back to be washed. Once she had some privacy, she pulled her phone out and dialed Nicole’s number, feeling frantic and nauseous.

“Hello?”

“Oh my god, _Nicole_.”

“I take it news got around to you then.”

“Where did he stab you?”

“Okay, Waverly. I need you to relax. I am totally fine. After I shot him he threw his hunting knife at me. It got my arm pretty good, but it’s stitched up and bandaged. I have medication and cream and it is all just fine. Please don’t be worried.”

“Don’t be worried?” Waverly asked. “Don’t be worried! What the _hell_ , Nicole! My girlfriend killed a man and got hurt and is all alone right now! I think I get to be worried. I heard you went in by yourself. Do you have a death wish? Isn’t it like procedure to wait for backup?”

There was a long silence. Then an amused, “Waverly?”

“Well, answer me!”

“Okay. I did call for backup, but I also knew that she was drugged and he was all over her. If I waited too long, something could have happened that could not unhappen. Yes, it was a risk, but please keep in mind that I am trained for these situations and though I went in alone, I knew there were officers ten minutes out and there was a scared young girl who needed someone to stop him from violating her any further than she already had been.”

Waverly could not gather a single thought. “You’re probably making sense, it sounds like you are, at least, but I can’t even think straight. Tell me you’re okay again.”

“Waverly, listen to my voice. Do I not sound good to you?”

“Shut up, you always sound good to me.”

Nicole chuckled. “Baby, I’ve never heard you get mad like this before. It’s the loveliest. Come yell at me some more and you can see that I’m just fine.”

Waverly finally calmed down. “Please don’t scare me like that. Call me before I have to find out something like this from other people.”

“I can do that.”

“I’m coming over as soon as I can.”

“You don’t have to do that. Honestly, I’m just sitting on the couch watching a shitty lifetime movie.”

“Shut up. I’m coming over as soon as I can and I’m going to yell at you for a very long time. Stop smirking or I swear to god.”

“How can you – ”

“I can feel it. Now, can I pick something up for you to eat?”

“Waverly, you don’t have to –”

“Just let me feed you, dammit. Please.”

“Well. I wouldn’t turn away chicken dumplings from that Chinese spot next to Shorty’s. Soy sauce on the side please.”

“Got it, okay, I’ll see you soon.”

“See you, and uh…Waverly?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you. You’re making my crap day a lot better.”

Waverly smiled. “You’re welcome.”

They hung up and Waverly found Doc down in the basement, taking inventory. He was surprised by her request to leave early due to a personal matter, but since she had never skipped out on a shift before, he made his peace with it. Waverly slipped out the back door to avoid having to explain herself to Wynonna. She stopped by the Chinese restaurant and then made her getaway, eager to set eyes on Nicole and make sure she really was okay.

Her tires skidded to a halt on the gravel in front of Nicole’s house and she noticed that the police cruiser she was used to seeing was not parked in its usual spot.

Nicole was already opening the door as Waverly jogged up the porch steps, throwing herself into Nicole’s arms. Nicole guided them inside, kicking the door shut and taking Waverly’s purse and the bag of food, depositing them on a shelf by her coat rack. Waverly toed her boots off and took hold of Nicole’s left arm, running gentle fingers over the white cloth bandage.

“How many stitches?”

“Thirty-seven.”

“Jesus,” Waverly muttered.

“It’s really not that bad. A small price to pay for the safety of an innocent girl, if you ask me.”

Waverly nodded. “You’re right. You’re so right. I know this is what you do, but I never really let myself think about it.”

Hands cupped Waverly’s face and forced her to look up into a considerate gaze.

“If it’s too much, and it can be too much, we can stop –”

Anger roiled through Waverly’s bones and her fingers twisted into the fabric of Nicole’s shirt at her stomach. “Stop it, Nicole. Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”

“No, listen to me. It’s normal. It’s understandable. There would be no shame in wanting to back away from this thing we’re doing because of my job. It can be a lot and I will always have to make tough choices. Some days I make the right one, but there is always a chance that I make a wrong one.”

Waverly let the warning wash over her and snuff out some of her frustration. “I understand why you’re saying what you’re saying, Nicole, but please, don’t ever speak to me like this again. I know I’m younger than you, but I’m not a child that needs to be protected from reality. I’m a grown adult and I can handle what you do so long as you keep me aware and don’t leave me to get blindsided by my sister and her ex just casually dropping the fact that you got hurt while I’m working. It makes me feel stupid to be the last one to know. And I get that what we’re doing is kind of undefined, but I expect more respect from you.”

Nicole’s mouth parted and she looked lost. “Waverly, I do respect you.” Her jaw clenched and Waverly could tell Nicole was angry, but it seemed to be directed at herself.

Waverly caressed her jaw with the backs of her fingers trying to relieve the tension there.

“I know you do. You’re the person who told me I need to teach people how I want to be treated. I hope that applies to you, too.”

Nicole gathered her close. “God, of course that includes me. Let me start by saying that I am sorry. You have all of my respect and I regret that I made you feel otherwise. I guess I was caught up in myself, but it’s no excuse. You’re part of my life now, Waverly. I will do better.”

Waverly rested her head on Nicole’s chest and let herself be hugged as fiercely as she hugged Nicole. “You’re the best part of my life,” she murmured.

Soft brushes of Nicole’s lips pressed into her hair and she tilted her head, smiling as Nicole dotingly kissed down her face. Waverly’s mouth sought out Nicole’s and they shared a slow, understanding kiss.

“Waverly?”

“Hm?”

“Never mind.”

Waverly searched Nicole’s eyes and saw something serious, but hesitant there.

She dropped her head to Nicole’s chest again.

“Tell me, please.”

“Our emotions are all frayed, maybe it’s not the best time.”

“Tell me anyway.”

“This thing we’re doing, it’s just me and you, right?”

Waverly’s face whipped back. “Pardon me?”

Uncertainty etched its way onto Nicole’s face, but she pushed on. “You’re the only person I’m seeing, Waves and I don’t want to share.”

“Oh ho ho,” tumbled hotly out of Waverly’s mouth. “If you were seeing someone else, I don’t know what I’d do.” Her hands clutched at Nicole’s upper back. “Of course you’re the only person I’m sleeping with. I know we never discussed it, but it’s just you and me, Nic.” 

“Good,” Nicole said, bending forward, gripping under Waverly’s thighs and hoisting her up. Waverly squeaked, wrapping her legs around Nicole’s lean waist, hands finding purchase on Nicole’s shoulders. “Let me show you how jealous I’ve been thinking about it.”

Their kiss was brutal and forceful, as hard and ungiving as the bare wall that Nicole pushed her up against.

“Your stitches,” Waverly panted, hands lost in the thick of Nicole’s dark red hair. The length was so nice and soft in her fingers.

“Will survive,” Nicole said. “Hold on, baby.” Nicole's hips tilted up, taking all of Waverly’s weight as she leaned back to get enough space to slip her right hand between them, unbuttoning jeans and shoving her hand into Waverly’s panties.

“Been wanting to fuck you like this for so long.”

Two long fingers slowly slid knuckle deep and Waverly’s head fell back into the wall. Her hips churned in time with Nicole’s thrusts. The angle and tightness of the fit did something for Waverly, her core burning at the exquisite intrusion. Nicole pushed her blouse up and grazed her mouth over Waverly’s bra clad nipple, biting down on it, teeth clamping tighter and tighter and tugging until Waverly whimpered in her arms and pulled her face closer to her chest.

The filthy squelches that filled the air as Nicole fucked into her gave way to how wet and dripping Waverly was. “Fuck, fuck me,” she begged, feeling her orgasm approaching like a freight train, hitting her with an intensity that robbed her of her breath. “Just like that.”

“Just like that, baby,” Nicole promised, letting her ride out the waves. Just when Waverly caught herself, preparing to be let down, three fingers slid back inside of her and she struggled against the invasion, shuddering and yanking Nicole’s face back by her hair to gape at her in astonishment.

A moan Waverly could only think to describe as slutty peeled out of her. “Shit!” She threw her hips forward into it, impaling herself deeper. “God, fuck me, you fucking, ugh!”

A devilish, smirking mouth covered hers. Nicole Haught was going to wreck her and she was going to let her.

Three orgasms against a wall and Nicole tipped Waverly over the couch’s armrest to give her a fourth. She thoroughly sucked her fingers clean afterwards and that was new for Waverly, her lower belly swirling with arousal as that particular image seared itself into her mind. Then Nicole was climbing over the armrest, atop Waverly and lumbering both of their bodies forward so she could lay on top of the smaller woman, hiding her face in Waverly’s hair.

Waverly kissed the side of Nicole’s temple and wound one arm around Nicole’s neck, reaching between them to push her hand under Nicole’s sweatpants.

Nicole groaned, spreading a knee to give Waverly better entry. Their bodies shivered and Nicole sank heavily onto her for a lazy fuck. She came, panting in Waverly’s ear and Waverly would never tire of the thrill she got from existing within this beautiful woman. She kept her fingers buried for a while longer and grinned when Nicole’s hips greedily sought another orgasm. Waverly would give and give and give.


	7. Chapter 7

Nicole groaned in delight around her mouthful of dumplings. “Mmm, these are better than I remembered.”

Waverly bit into her veggie roll, sighing at the fried dough. Carbs, man.

Nicole was adorable with her chopsticks, concentrating on picking up each dumpling, looking proud of herself when she got one. She dipped them for a long soak in her cup of soy sauce and hummed over every bite.

As soon as Waverly finished her rolls and her sweet and sour soup, she deposited herself onto Nicole’s lap with the television remote, skimming through channels until Nicole stopped her hand, saying, “I could watch literally anything National Geographic.”

They spent the evening watching a documentary on Tornado chasers, fascinated by the mysteries of what spawned such powerful wind tunnels that arrived with little warning and were unpredictable to weathermen – a true force of nature that baffled human intelligence and devastated the lands it tore through.

Nicole was holding her much tighter by the end.

“Is it terrible that I find tornados beautiful?” Waverly asked. “Even when they’re destructive?”

“These people that chase tornados, I think they do it because they find them beautiful, too. I think they dream of getting close enough to understand them, but no one survives the inside of something like that. Maybe that’s part of the draw of chasing it. The danger, the beauty, the mystery, the science.”

Waverly’s phone interrupted them.

She bent forward to reach it from the middle of the coffee table, smiling widely as Nicole pulled her back onto her lap as soon as her fingers wrapped around the device. Nicole snuggled her face into Waverly’s back and Waverly hadn’t known her heart could stop and start like that.

“Hello?” she mumbled distractedly into her phone.

“What the actual hell, babygirl?! Where did you go? Again.”

That got her attention. “I’m just doing my own thing, is something wrong?”

“Yeah, my little sister keeps disappearing.”

“Doesn’t feel nice, does it?” Waverly retorted. Nicole poked her side. “Sorry, that was uncalled for.” Nicole rubbed the spot encouragingly.

“Where are you?”

“That’s my business. I’m taking a day for myself.”

“Secrets don’t make a family, Waverly.”

“You are made of secrets, Wynonna.”

“But I’m me! You’re…you.”

“You mean transparent, or a pushover?”

“No, you’re the best. I don’t know why you’re being so…look, you can tell me anything. If you killed someone, I would literally bury the body for you.”

Waverly looked back and stifled her giggles at Nicole’s exaggeratedly wide eyes. “ _I’m a cop_ ,” she mouthed, pretending to cover her ears.

“Oh boy. Okay, but you asked, Wynonna. I’m getting laid.”

“What!”

“Yes. It’s a real sexual awakening for me.”

“Gross! Stop, I made a grave mistake, I don’t wanna know where you are!”

“And it turns out I really like being on top, too.”

There was silence, then the line went dead.

Waverly broke out into a fit of cackles and Nicole sprang up, tossing her down onto the couch, standing over her, looking half-mortified. Nicole dropped her head into her hands, shaking with laughter.

Waverly slipped her arms around Nicole from behind and pulled the taller woman down on top of her. “Don’t pretend you don’t like me on top, too, Officer Haught.”

Nicole had tears in her eyes by the time she calmed down and Waverly had never loved someone’s laughter so much that she wanted to stop time to live in it, to nourish it, to pocket it and carry it with her everywhere she went.

*

Nicole peered down at Waverly Earp sleeping in her bed. She walked to her bedroom window and stared out into the night. She couldn’t sleep again. Waverly’s company had been so pacifying and uplifting, but once Waverly was settled into slumber, Nicole’s mind whirred against her will. What little sleep she did get was sullied with the trauma of her youth, mixing with memories of the nights she spent shadowing Tucker, and with two other cases she worked back in the city that she had once relied on alcohol to drown out. They all blended together in her mind, creating hybrid nightmares that had her waking in a cold sweat. Her dream self couldn’t separate these moments of distress, combining them into something Nicole really didn’t like being plunged into night after night.

“Nic?” came a hushed voice, hand searching through empty sheets.

Nicole rushed back to bed and climbed in, meeting Waverly’s back as she scooted to the edge in search of her bedmate.

Nicole let the smaller woman snuggle into her front and sighed wearily. “I hope you are having the sweetest of dreams,” she whispered, dropping a kiss into Waverly’s hair.

*

They were sitting on the porch steps, enjoying daybreak. The morning sky was an intense blend of reds and oranges, purpling pinky blues with tinges of yellow at its edges as the sun emerged.

Nicole sipped hot coffee and Waverly opted for black tea.

“What’s happening with work?” she asked. “When will you be returning?”

“They have me on paid leave for a week,” Nicole answered. “Then administrative duty until Internal Affairs finishes their investigation of me.”

Waverly hugged her steaming cup to her chest and frowned. “Wait, they’re investigating you?”

“It’s standard. Anytime an officer shoots someone Internal Affairs conducts their own investigation. It makes sure we’re held accountable for our actions and that the decisions we made in the field were strictly following protocol. It can feel personal sometimes, but it’s not meant to be. They already took my statement. They’ll clear me if everything checks out and then I’ll have to pass a psychological evaluation before I can return to my regular duties.”

“That sounds like a lot.”

“Nothing I haven’t been through before. It’ll be fine.”

“Nicole?”

“Hm?”

“How many times have you been through this?”

“This is my third.”

“Have you…the other times –”

Nicole took hold of Waverly’s knee. “It’s not normal for an officer to have to use their guns for more than show. The uniform and badge are usually enough to diffuse most situations. I’ve been a cop for almost six years now and I have used deadly force against a total of three criminals.”

Waverly stared at Nicole, studied her face and stopped looking for the beauty she was usually so taken with. She wondered what was lurking behind those brown eyes, what they had seen. Tucker was a sex offender, possibly a rapist, technically even a pedophile if Waverly really thought about how young Poppy was and what he intended to do with her. Who else had Nicole stood up against, what kinds of people did Nicole have to snuff the life out of in service of protecting innocent lives or even her own life?

Waverly set her tea aside and found the words leaving her mouth before she could remember the promise she made to leave his ghost in the past where he belonged. “My father was a cop. He used to be Sheriff before Randy Nedley. It cost him his life.”

Surprise flickered over Nicole’s face. “Oh, darling,” she said, taking Waverly’s hand. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.”

Waverly squeezed Nicole’s fingers, eyes burning. “He used to drink himself stink and beat our momma so bad, ‘til she couldn’t take it anymore, packed her bags and ran off with a local firefighter, then daddy took it out on Willa, so she ran off as soon as she turned eighteen. He never really acknowledged me. I used to try so hard to get his attention, but he always ignored me or forgot me. One time he actually left me at the county fair, my Aunt Gus brought me home, and no one celebrated my birthdays or checked my report cards once Momma was gone.” Waverly shook her head from side to side, fighting back tears. “Turns out he was taking bribes from corrupt politicians. He shot himself in the head when he got caught before they could arrest him for it. The Earp name was cursed because of him, and Wynonna shielded us both through school, but she was a disaster. Wynonna was the one who found his body and I can’t even imagine what that did to her. She started drinking as bad as him and couldn’t stop getting into fights, and worse, into trouble with the law. Then she left, too, because everyone fricking left!”

Nicole put her coffee mug down hard and had Waverly in a hug in seconds, rubbing her back even harder. “Shh, shh, come now, no one meant to leave you. They were all just running from a broken home, but you were so strong.” Waverly sobbed harder at that. “You never ran. You stayed and faced all of it and you are making something of yourself and no amount of his ignoring you could ever extinguish the fire that you have. Look at you now, you took that home he destroyed and made it yours. Your sisters are with you again and you’ve been able to reconnect with both of them for whatever time you have together. If you left like everyone else, they wouldn’t have had a home to return to. You kept the lights on and that’s no small thing, you hear me?” Nicole took Waverly’s face and looked her in the eye. “You hear me, sweetheart?” she asked again.

Waverly gave a pathetic nod, happy to bury her face into Nicole’s neck as her sobbing subsided. She felt drained, surprised by what she had shared, but she also felt closer to Nicole, like she had given her a part of herself, an ugly part of her past that Nicole transformed into something meaningful.

“Nicole?”

“Yes, sweet girl?” Waverly’s heart sang.

“Why did you and your wife get divorced?”

Nicole blew out a weary breath from the side of her mouth like she was fatigued just thinking about it. “I met Shae last year rock-climbing in Nevada. It was supposed to be a couple nights of fun, but then we won big at the slot machines, got wasted and woke up married. We ended up really liking each other and decided, why not? Then I got hurt on patrol. It was stupid, I was chasing a perp, climbed a fence, landed in a puddle of engine oil, and my foot slipped at a bad angle. Shae lost it at the hospital, said she cared about me too much to see me waste my life being a government puppet. She thought my job was a joke, same as my mom and dad.”

“Jesus Christ,” Waverly muttered, rubbing her hands soothingly over Nicole’s shoulders.

“It’s okay, I know what a lot of people think of cops. I just didn’t realize Shae thought that way, too, else we would have been separated much quicker. We’re friendly now, she apologized for everything she said in the heat of her fright and tried to take it back, but it was all over the second she said those words to me.”

“I’m sorry about your parents.”

“Don’t be. I got over them a long time ago.”

“You’re a good cop, Nicole, and a good person. They’re wrong about you.”

Nicole offered her half a smile. “Thank you.”

“I have errands to run and my shift later, but can I come back tonight and stay with you?”

The other half of Nicole’s smile appeared. “I’d love that.”

*

Nicole was a mystery. More so than Waverly had originally thought. Two nights in a row after they had that talk, Waverly woke to an empty bed. She watched Nicole standing by the window, staring emptily out into the distance. The first night she pretended to be waking up and Nicole returned to her, held her until she fell back asleep.

The second night, she didn’t call the woman back. Instead, she waited until sunrise and discovered that Nicole wasn’t sleeping very well. Nicole prepared them oatmeal, cut up cantaloupe and went about the morning like nothing was wrong.

Her eyes looked tired and her shoulders sagged more than usual. On the third night, Waverly tried something different. She waited for Nicole to climb into bed first, then slipped in and spooned the taller woman for a change.

Nicole seemed amused, but went with it. Waverly carded her fingers through Nicole’s hair and lulled her to sleep with relentless petting.

She nodded off herself shortly after Nicole’s breathing evened out, but because she had her lover on her mind, the second Nicole began whimpering, Waverly was quick to wake. She sat up and shifted Nicole onto her back, looking down into her contorted face.

Tears leaked from Nicole’s eyes, small droplets sliding back, disappearing into her hairline and her jaw was so tight it looked like it hurt.

Waverly massaged the hinge of it and kissed her sweaty forehead, whispering in her ear that she was safe until the whimpers subsided. When it seemed Nicole was resting peacefully again, Waverly hugged her close and fought back her own tears. Something was hurting Nicole and Nicole was holding it all in.

“You can trust me,” she promised the sleeping beauty. “I’ll show you.” She pressed her hand to Nicole’s chest and rubbed over her precious heart.

*

The next night Waverly woke groggily to find herself in an empty bed. “Sneaky,” she mumbled, looking over to see Nicole in her usual sleep sweats and white tee, sat in the rocking chair that she had turned to face the window. She was agitated, hands flexing on and off. Waverly raised herself up on her knees, only in her underwear and climbed off the bed, grabbing her shirt off the floor, pulling it over her head.

Nicole startled out of her thoughts and stood up. “Waverly, sorry, I was just –”

Waverly gently pushed Nicole back down onto the rocking chair and clambered sideways into her lap, hanging her arms around coiled shoulders. There would be nowhere for her dear girl to run.

“Talk to me, Nicole. You’re not sleeping well, you’re having nightmares, last night you were crying in your sleep.”

Panic flashed over Nicole’s face. “You saw me like that?”

“Please don’t look so ashamed. I know between the two of us, you’ve been my rock and I really adore that side of you. But it does occur to me that you’re keeping things bottled up. You’ve just shot a man, a really horrible man, but still. And it’s not the first time and these nightmares you’re having, I want you to talk to me about them because the more you keep it in, the worse it’s going to haunt you when you can’t ignore it anymore.” Nicole looked torn. Waverly took Nicole’s hand and put it on her chest. “Or just hold my boob for emotional support, whatever you need.”

Weak laughter bubbled up from both of them and Waverly pressed her forehead to Nicole’s, appeased that she could see hints of lightness in the corners of Nicole’s stormy eyes.

“It’s not just shooting Tucker. These nightmares always come up when I’m stressed and overwhelmed, usually it’s because of work.” Nicole took a fortifying breath, searching Waverly’s gaze. She must have found something she could trust in Waverly’s open expression.

“I was nine years old,” Nicole began. “It was my first time in Ghost River County, we were visiting my aunt and uncle. They took me to a music festival and I got separated from them in the forest. I was gagged and taken to a warehouse where a number of people were being held hostage. Men and women were being tortured and beaten and I later learned they were also conducting mind-control experiments using hallucinogens.”

Waverly couldn’t believe what she was hearing, her fingers burrowed into Nicole’s shoulders in dread of what had been done to Nicole herself. She skimmed her index over the scar near Nicole’s eye and her face crumpled when Nicole miserably nodded.

“They kidnapped me because the younger you are, the easier to brainwash. They were planning to make me a slave to serve the cult master, he went by the name Bulshar. They were trying to break me. Beat me senseless and dosed me with small amounts of their drugs. One night they gave me a horsewhip and told me to punish one of the other girls. I refused to do it so they hung me by my ankles from a tree on the property for show. I was so damn scared, but I managed to undo the knots, probably because I was so skinny and able to hold my scrawny body weight up long enough to get free. I made a run for it, but the trees looked all the same and I had no clue where I was. There was a man in all leather. He caught me, dragged me through the woods, back to Bulshar. He was livid that I almost got away and smashed this burning hot glass lantern over my face.” Nicole solemnly brushed her scar. “He blinded me.” Waverly’s heart splintered apart. “My parents put me through surgery to fix it.”

“Nicole,” Waverly said brokenly, kissing her eye once, twice, three times. Then she kissed Nicole’s other eye for good measure. “I’m so sorry. That is so so horrifying.”

“He thought I was dead, left me in a puddle of my own blood. When I came to, everyone in the cult had been butchered. There were bodies everywhere, the smell of blood, skin, bone, guts, all exposed. While I had been unconscious, the cult was ambushed by a taskforce of special agents. Bulshar didn’t want any loose ends so he ordered that everyone be slaughtered and he made a run for it. A local cop shot him dead after an hour-long chase through the forest.”

“The same cop who shot him sat with me at the hospital. I wouldn’t let go of his hand. He was the first person I felt safe with after everything. I remember him telling me that he slayed the bad man and that I would be okay. He didn’t leave until my parents got there. I tried to find out who that cop was when I was older, but the files on the massacre are all confidential. I put most of it together through old newspaper clippings and sessions with a psychologist under hypnosis, but I never got that particular answer. My parents refused to respond to any questions I had, and always said it’s better if we left it in the past. They tried really hard to get me to move on.”

Something occurred to Waverly. “I once asked you why you wanted to be a cop and you told me it was personal. Is it because of the cop who shot Bulshar and stayed with you?”

Nicole smiled dimly. “You remembered that?” She sighed. “It took time for me to realize it, but he had a much bigger impact on me than I ever understood. When I started college, I told my parents I was interested in law and did my bachelor’s degree in criminal justice. They thought I was planning to go to law school, but I applied for the academy as soon as I graduated. I was already living on my own at that point, but they kicked me out of their lives nonetheless. They made fair points, the force is full of corruption, but that made me want to join up even more. For every bad cop that’s out there, there needs to be an equally good one. It matters.”

“Of course it does,” Waverly agreed.

“I mean, I was just a normal kid and then I wasn’t. That’s why this profession speaks to me. I take care of the everyday. Make it so people get to go on with their lives. Help when they’re in trouble and then hopefully they don’t have to think about the bad things in life because the bad thing already happened to me. Maybe I can stop it from happening to others. I may be damaged, but some people can be spared. That’s all I want. To spare as many innocent people from the dark things out there for as long as I can.” 

“No,” Waverly shook her head. “No, no, no, Nicole, you are _not_ damaged. What happened to you changed you, but you are not damaged. It turned you into something else, it made you into the kind of person who lives for others, protects others, it made you into someone who takes on the kinds of responsibilities that most people cower in the face of. Please don’t ever think you are damaged because it’s cops like you who take on men like Bulshar or Tucker. That cop who saved you, you would never think he was anything but a hero with a good heart, and the people you save, you can’t possibly know how they look up to you, how I look up to you. I love that you’re trusting me with this, but please trust me now when I say you are nothing short of astonishing. You became exactly who that little nine-year-old girl running through the forest needed, and that is the greatest achievement any one person can aspire to. Your parents are fools for not supporting you when they should understand you the most.”

“They think I’m ruled by my trauma,” Nicole admitted.

“Who isn’t?” Waverly asked. “What matters is not who we were or what was done to us, but who we choose to be. There must be a reason you came back here to the place where the course of your life became so completely altered.”

“I’d been running for a long time, or at least felt like I was. Waverly, when I was sent the email for this job posting after all the fights with my parents, with Shae, all the nightmares and the drinking to forget, I knew I wanted to face this town again, on my own terms. I came back here and my life has never been better. I have a place that feels like home, my job is actually meaningful in a way it wasn’t when I was policing the streets of a heartless city and now I know the people here and they’re starting to know me, too, and _you_ , _God_ , I met you and I thought, _man_ , maybe I could just stand still for a while.”

“I – fuck, Nicole, I – ”

Nicole crushed their mouths together. “I know, baby,” she said, voice cracking. “I know what you’re feeling because I am right here with you, and when you say it, I swear I will say it back.” 

Waverly kissed Nicole through salt and teeth and devotion – her soul cried, _I love you. I love you. I love you._

She pulled the V of Nicole’s shirt down and rested her teary face against Nicole’s chest, kissing over her heart. “You’re the one person in my life that I never want to hurt. I want to be so careful with you, Nicole. I can’t explain it, but knowing you’re in pain, I feel it like it’s my own and I can’t take it. I feel like I’ll die if something ever took you away from me.” 

Nicole scooped Waverly up in her arms, standing from the rocking chair and carrying her to bed, both of them curving and fitting their bodies together as close as humanly possible, gazing long and deep into each other’s eyes.

When the room went from charged to something more serene, Nicole said, “I have never told a single soul about what happened to me that night apart from medical professionals. You’re the first person I have ever trusted this way and I want you to know how grateful I am for you, Waverly, for making it so easy for me to open up to you, and for as long as you’ll have me, I am going to be here. Nothing will take me away, not even death. You can have me in every lifetime if you wish.”

“I wish. I wish it so badly,” Waverly insisted. “You came into my life and showed me how to be brave, and for as long as you’ll let me, I want to keep being brave with you.”

Their mouths melded together passionately and their confessions became divine vows.

Waverly held Nicole through her first dreamless sleep in days and she discovered as moonlight gave way to sunrise, that she was made for loving and she could be good at it. She could be for Nicole what Nicole was for her, and the fear that kept her distant and kept her hesitant trickled away with the dawn of a new day. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is our final meeting in this story. Thank you for everything. Until next time, you have all my love and gratitude.

Translation: “Love is full of anxious fears, love conquers all things, let us too yield to love.”

It was just Nicole’s luck that the week she returned to work for desk duty, a special division called Black Badge would set up shop in the Sheriff’s department and she would be the lucky soul to oversee the needs of one Deputy Marshal Xavier Dolls. That meant playing nice to a guy who seemed baffled when someone wished him a good morning or smiled at him or breathed too close to him.

“Officer Haught.”

Nicole looked up from the file she was reading to see the stoic man standing in front of her.

“Yes, Deputy Marshal Dolls?”

“Sheriff Nedley suggested I come to you with any requests.”

“I am aware.”

“I need you to find me a language consultant pronto, someone who can translate Latin.”

“I’ll make some calls. What’s your time frame?”

“I would like to have someone here tomorrow before noon.”

“On it, is that all?”

“That is all.” He backed away. “As you were.”

Nicole couldn’t wait to be cleared. She was even looking forward to that psych eval if it meant escaping these riveting interactions.

She was about to start a web search when she remembered one of her first meaningful conversations with Waverly. “Latin, huh?” She took out her cell phone and dialed the woman she left in her bed that morning.

“Hey, stranger.”

“How good are your Latin skills?”

“Are you a sucker for romantic languages, Officer Haught?”

“Humor me.”

“Hm. Okay. Res est solliciti plena timoris amor, omnia vincit amor, nos et cedamus amori.”

Nicole didn’t know much about the language, but she did understand the word amor. “Tell me what you just said.”

“Why am I telling you anything at all in Latin at nine am?”

“Oh, right. How would you feel about doing some consulting work for the Black Badge Division? It’s a government run cross-border task force. Not sure what they’re doing in Purgatory, but the Deputy Marshal needs a translator and he wasn’t very specific. If you think you’re up to it, there’ll be a paycheck for each consultation and it could look good on your resume.”

“Nicole, wow, thank you for thinking of me! That sounds so fun! I can totally translate some Latin for your Marshal guy, sign me up!”

Nicole laughed. “No problem, you’re helping me out, too, you know. Makes my job easier. When are you free?”

“I can totally come by right now! I’m free all day today.”

“Say what, let me check with the Marshal and text you a time?”

“Yeah, I need to run home and get ready! I need something professional, but stylish!”

“Hey, Waverly?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t worry too much. This guy, he’s military background. Just be good with the work and he’ll respect you, no matter what you wear.”

“I appreciate the heads up! See you soon!”

Nicole chuckled. She put her phone away and went to knock on the newly sequestered BBD office door. Best idea yet.

*

Dolls seemed impressed to have a consultant on the way and thanked Nicole for her efficiency.

Waverly showed up at noon in a floral blouse tucked into her jeans and a pale gray blazer with her sleeves rolled up. Nicole found it to be extremely attractive.

“Wow, Waves,” she murmured, admiring her messy ponytail. “This look really suits you.”

“Thank you, Officer Haught. I’m here for my 12’o clock! Oh my god, I’m a person who says that! I can’t believe I’m actually using my Latin courses for something other than passing an exam! This is insane!”

“Told you you'd do crazy things one day. Just follow me and I’ll introduce you,” Nicole said, standing up and walking around the front desk, leading the way.

She knocked, waited for the, “Enter,” then gestured for Waverly to step inside.

“Agent Dolls, this is your language consultant, Waverly Earp.”

“Thank you, Officer Haught,” he said, stepping forward and holding his hand out. “Nice to meet you, Miss Earp.”

Waverly shook his hand enthusiastically in both of hers and Nicole had to fight off a smile at the way expressiveness bled into Dolls’ face for the first time since he’d stepped foot in Purgatory.

Can’t blame you, buddy, Nicole thought, Waverly was just that infectious. She could make a statue crack a smile for her. She left them to it, hoping the younger woman wasn’t too nervous all alone in there, but figuring Waverly would handle it and maybe even enjoy the experience.

Over an hour later, Waverly was strolling back out, eyes twinkling, a little spring in her step as she practically flung herself over to Nicole at reception.

“I helped him find a lead! And the translating part was easy! Dolls said I have to keep our discussion confidential, so I can’t tell you everything like I want to, but oh my god, do I want to!”

Nicole grinned. “No hard feelings. I’m glad it worked out. Here.” Nicole held out a form. “For payroll, you can choose how you want to receive your payment.”

Waverly accepted the papers and pulled a fountain pen from her purse, filling them out.

“He did say he might need me again and he took my number!” she said, passing the completed form back. Nicole put the papers in a folder to deal with later.

“Your number, huh? Sure it was all strictly professional on his part?”

“Agent Dolls? Geez, that guy is in a committed relationship with his job. I swear he almost made out with my translation work and that had diddly squat to do with me.”

“He sounds fun.”

There was a shift and Waverly’s bubbly energy tapered off into something a little more delicate. Nicole pondered at the deep breath she took and the way she clutched her purse tighter over her shoulder.

“Nicole, you’re off at five, right?”

“Yes.”

“Have you ever been to Beau’s café?”

“Can’t say that I have.”

“They have really nice lattes and pastries. They also serve warm vegetable and meat stews and bake their own fresh crusty breads.” Nicole faltered in the face of Waverly’s hopeful smile. “Would you like to join me for dinner this evening?”

They had never done anything in public before. Nothing so intimate and cozy and open.

“Waverly, are you sure?”

“Say six?”

Nicole laughed and crossed her arms, trying desperately not to swoon. “Six.”

*

The nice thing about Beau’s Café was the owner himself. Beau Gedeon had met local Purgatorian Elizabeth Stanley in a small French province at a bustling pâtisserie while she was on vacation. They fell in love and he followed her back to her hometown. They settled down together and opened a café that drew a more open-minded sort of crowd.

Not many people liked to support a business owned by an outsider, but Waverly adored the vibe Beau had. From the moment she admitted she was vegan as he was suggesting his most popular creations, he dramatically mourned her losses over flaky, buttery croissants, creamy eggy custards and milky sweet beverages. But he also told her to come back the next day and had for her one of the most scrumptious chocolate pastries she had ever had the pleasure of devouring.

Waverly grew excited as vegan labels were added for her sake and a handful of vegetable entrees appeared visit after visit on the menu.

The prices were steep, but she managed to stop by every once in a while to treat herself and support her favorite establishment.

When she walked in, her heart became full. Nicole Haught was sat in a booth and Beau Gedeon was stood over her, head tossed back in laughter.

Waverly hadn’t changed out of her outfit from earlier, but when Nicole saw Waverly coming towards her, she stood up, revealing herself in jeans and a nice shirt with a slim denim jacket on. She looked so cute and casual in the middle of the café, face fresh and open, no hint of the formality or her usual authority as she waited by the table, smiling at Waverly.

Waverly set her purse down on the booth’s cushion as she approached and pushed into Nicole’s arms for a deeply cathartic embrace in the presence of others. Her eyes met Beau’s as her head turned to rest against Nicole’s chest and the older man had a look of adoration in his face and a hint of curiosity.

“My favorite customer,” he said when Waverly hugged and greeted him next. He held his hands behind his back as Nicole and Waverly took their seats across from one another. Two menus sat on the table, but Waverly already knew what she wanted.

“Can I have the French onion soup to start, and then the mushroom bourguignon over roast potatoes please?”

Beau nodded and turned to Nicole, asking if she needed more time, but she shook her head, did the quickest scan of the menu and said, “I’ll have the potato leek soup and the beef version of what Waverly ordered, I’m not even gonna try and pronounce that or you both might kick me out of here.”

Beau laughed and Waverly rolled her eyes, relaxing her chin into her palm, completely smitten.

“Would you like pasta or potatoes with your boeuf bourguignon?” he asked.

“Pasta sounds good, thank you.”

“And to drink?”

They asked for recommendations and Nicole settled on a glass of Merlot while Waverly went with a Bordeaux.

When their soups and a basket of bread came by, Nicole pushed her bowl between them. “This is so good, you should try some.”

Since Waverly hadn’t tried the potato leek soup yet, she was happy to lean in. “Feed it to me,” she dared and Nicole dipped her spoon into the steaming liquid, gently blew on it and brought it to Waverly’s lips.

She moaned because of course it was delicious and when she let the utensil slip from her mouth, Nicole’s gaze followed the action dizzyingly. Waverly brought a spoonful of her French onion soup to Nicole’s lips and they fed each other adoringly.

They shared their wines as well and then tucked into their burgundy stews, ripping chunks of thick bread to dip and soak into their flavorful gravies, creating luxurious mouthfuls, eliciting many hums and moans of approval. They held hands above the table and talked about their days and how lovely Beau was and the amazing food and the ambience of the café.

Beau refilled their wine glasses and took their empty plates away, leaving them with a dessert menu. They agreed to share a French apple turnover because Waverly was a sucker for caramelized fruit and they argued over the bill. Nicole let Waverly pay since she had asked Nicole out and insisted it would mean a lot if Nicole would give her this small thing. 

They left arm in arm with to go cups of hot tea to settle their full stomachs, waving at Beau and his wife, with a promise to return.

Waverly led them to Reeves Memorial Park a few blocks away so they could remain in the bubble of their first date as they walked around the small square. The night had settled in as it was half past eight, and under the statue of a martyr, Waverly raised onto her toes and kissed Nicole soundly.

A stranger walked by and the world did not end.

*

Waverly had to part from Nicole so she could drop by the homestead to pack some essentials when Wynonna stopped by her door and leaned against the frame.

“Sleeping out again?” she asked. She walked closer, flicking the collar of Waverly’s blazer with the tip of her finger. “This is nice. You look nice like this.”

“Thanks,” she murmured.

“It seems serious,” Wynonna said. “I know you said you were having an awakening or whatever, but it seems serious.”

A smile broke over Waverly’s face. “It is serious.”

“When do I meet this guy? I promise not to scare him off with Peacemaker.”

Waverly huffed in amusement at the image of anyone trying to scare Nicole.

“Soon, I think. I want to keep enjoying it before the whole town knows my business and butts in.”

Wynonna cupped her cheek and Waverly saw pride in her big sister’s face. “Okay. Soon then.”

“What have you and Willa been doing?” she asked.

“We’re shopping around for a truck. You’re always off with your jeep and she doesn’t have a motorcycle license so I can’t lend her my Harley.”

“Oh. Why don’t you call Aunt Gus? She left a blue and white pickup at her ranch. I look after her place from time to time and it’s just sitting there in the yard.”

“Really? Cool, I will call her. She’ll probably be shocked to hear my voice.”

“Oh, she will be. Especially when you tell her about Willa. Good luck with that conversation.”

Waverly tossed a pair of socks into her overnight bag and zipped it up. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See ya,” Wynonna mumbled, collapsing on Waverly’s bed as she left.

*

Nicole was sitting on the bottom of the porch steps, elbows on her thighs when Waverly pulled up. Waverly approached and went to sit behind her, molding her front snugly over Nicole’s back, hugging the woman close so their cheeks could smush together. Nicole hung her arms over Waverly’s knees and her hands stroked the sides of her calves. Waverly dropped a kiss over Nicole’s denim covered shoulder, and they swayed side to side in the cool autumn air. Winter was nearing.

Nicole reached into the jacket pocket at her breast and pulled out a thin piece of metal that shimmered in the moonlight. “Be with me,” she said. “Just like this. As much as you want.”

Waverly took the key, closed it tight in her fist so she could feel the jagged steel bite into her flesh. She kissed the cheek she was attached to. “I’m going to need a drawer.”

“Already emptied two.”

“We’re doing this,” she said.

“We are,” Nicole agreed. She turned, and eyes closed, she lay honor and dignity at Waverly’s feet.

*

It was happenstance and circumstance. 

There was only one grocery store in Purgatory that carried vegan products and it was the only one Waverly ever frequented. She was headed for the frozen section to satisfy her sweet tooth when she stopped at the sight of her girlfriend in full uniform standing in front of an open freezer door.

A smile blossomed on Waverly’s face. Nicole had the handles of a small red basket hanging precariously on two fingers at her side and she was reading the label on a pint of vegan ice cream. She was so focused, but Waverly could see the muscles in her back and shoulders tense beneath the fabric of her shirt and her head tilted to the side, turning to meet Waverly’s gaze.

A slow smile curved along her lips and she winked, dropping the pint into her basket before stepping back and gesturing with a small sweep of her hand for Waverly to go ahead.

Waverly walked forward and raised a hand to smooth over Nicole’s shirt collar. She had gotten braver in their last month together. Surprise always swam in dark brown eyes at any small displays of affection, but Waverly lived for these moments. 

“Hey, stranger,” she said.

“Stranger, huh?” Nicole asked.

Waverly took Nicole’s free arm and pulled it across her shoulders, leading Nicole away from the frozen section as she slipped her own arms around Nicole’s waist, her purse crushed between them without a care. 

“Remember all the fun we had as strangers?” Waverly asked.

Nicole smiled, dropping a kiss onto Waverly’s head. “This is more fun, I got you the chocolate almond chip, that’s your favorite, right?”

“Mm, you’re my favorite.”

“I’m not a dessert.”

“Debatable.”

Nicole’s head fell back and she let out a laugh. She lifted the basket. “Then I can put all your favorite snacks back?”

“Of course. You’re my favorite snack.”

“A dessert and a snack. How ever did I manage that?”

“Take your pants off, I’ll show you.”

“Waverly Earp. We’re in public and I’m in uniform.”

“Okay. Then take your uniform off.”

“I love your logic when you’re needy.” Nicole’s voice dropped low, breath hot on Waverly’s ear. “You are needy, aren’t you?”

Waverly groaned and hid her face in Nicole’s chest. “You’re bad.”

“So are you.” Nicole led them to the fruit section, stopping in front of the pineapples. “My hands are full with you,” she said. “Will you grab one?”

Waverly picked judiciously and inspected the fruit, inhaling its scent to make sure it was ripe and sweet smelling before adding it to the basket Nicole held in front of her, careful not to crush the bread or the eggs. She noticed the dairy-free yogurts she liked among her favorite veggie sticks and barbecue flavored chips.

As they walked by the meat section, Waverly paused to grab a package of Nicole’s preferred brand of turkey bacon, then later she nabbed a pack of chocolate pudding, adding it to their pile, and Nicole’s smile was unbidden at being known. Waverly loved knowing her. 

It was so nice and freeing and exhilarating, then Nicole cursed under her breath. “Shit.”

She followed Nicole’s line of sight to see her sister of all people. Wynonna was standing where Waverly knew the vegan cookies were located, anxiously looking between the two boxes in her hands.

Nicole made to pull away, but Waverly wouldn’t let her, holding tighter around her waist.

“Come on, let’s help her, she looks like she’s about to have a brain aneurysm. She only gets that look when she’s trying to do math.”

Nicole didn’t budge. “Waverly. Are you sure?”

Waverly leaned up, kissing Nicole’s cheek softly. “You’re the only thing I’ve ever been sure of, Nicole.”

By the time they turned to look ahead, Wynonna had noticed the figures down the aisle and turned to stare slack-jawed at her little sister. She looked down at the cookies in her hands and awkwardly hid the boxes behind her back as they approached.

“Uh, it’s not what it looks like! I was just, these are for me,” Wynonna said, surrendering and holding the cookies out in front of her. “It’s not like I accidentally ate your snacks or anything.”

Waverly peeked over at the chocolate chip in one hand and oatmeal in the other. “I always get the double fudge brownie ones,” she said helpfully.

Wynonna frowned and turned to put the cookies away before doing a double take. “Whoa.” She looked between Nicole and Waverly and it seemed to hit her just how close they were. 

Wynonna’s face did some gymnastic level reacting as confusion turned to gentle realization and her entire face softened. She met her little sister’s gaze. “Oh,” she whispered. “Shit.” Tears sprang to her eyes. “Babygirl…”

She threw the cookies back onto the shelf and went to Waverly, taking her by the shoulders and Nicole let her go, stepping back to give the sisters space.

Wynonna searched her face and then looked over at Nicole, studying the officer, eyes calculating.

“This is…” she laughed out loud. “Wow. It was right in front of me. You fucking sneaks! I knew you were being all weird when she got hurt and that night in the bar, I knew you kept looking at her, but I ignored it! All this time and you’ve been banging the hottest deputy in Purgatory! Jesus, Waves!”

“It’s nice to see you again, Wynonna,” Nicole said politely.

Wynonna reached out, lightly punching Nicole’s shoulder. “Nice to see you too, Officer Haughtstuff. Do you know how many guys are going to hate you for snatching up my sister? All of them. Literally all of them.”

“I’m not worried,” Nicole replied. “I carry a taser.”

“And Nicole has been teaching me self-defense.”

Wynonna guffawed. “Is that what you kids are calling it these days.”

Nicole smirked. “Fair point.”

Waverly whined, “Hey! It’s not my fault you’re so strong. I can only land on my back so many times before I need – ”

“And I’m going home!” Wynonna announced, grabbing the box of double fudge brownie cookies and making a run for it. Waverly chased after her, jumping on her back, waving around a gallon of almond milk.

Nicole trailed after them, smiling all the way to checkout.

*

They had all parted ways. Wynonna took off first while Nicole walked Waverly to her jeep with a promise to see her at the house. She loaded the grocery bags into her cruiser and pulled out of the parking lot. She’d only been driving a few minutes when she saw the Harley zipping towards her in her rearview mirror.

The bike revved and Nicole found it amusing, an officer being pulled over for a change. She parked at the side of the lonely road along the Pine Barrens and got out of her car, crossing her arms and leaning against her door. She looked at the trees swaying in the wind against the dark blue sky and took a deep cleansing breath.

No one had ever given her the shovel talk before. She was going to enjoy this.

Wynonna climbed off her bike and removed her helmet, hanging it on a handlebar. She walked over and matched Nicole’s posture, arms crossed, leaning against the cruiser.

They stood there a while, both staring out at the horizon while Nicole waited for Wynonna to sort out her thoughts.

“She never used to show me her anger. I knew it was there, but she always held it back. Every time I left, she put on a brave smile and let me go and I let her do that for me, but now…she yells at me all the time. And she tells Willa off like Willa never bullied the shit out of her, and when she talks about wanting to become a history professor, she doesn’t look so twitchy anymore. She talks about going to grad school like it’s a sure thing. She used to be the mutest presence at the homestead, but now, she’s the most alive thing in that place.”

There was a catch in Wynonna’s breath and Nicole hesitantly reached up, resting her hand on the other woman’s shoulder, and when Wynonna didn’t shake it off, Nicole let her grip sink down, grounding her.

“You girls deserve to be free of it,” Nicole said, looking off and feeling Wynonna’s gaze burning the side of her face. “All three of you are worth that and so much more. When I first walked into Shorty’s Saloon,” Nicole smiled, catching Wynonna’s eye, “That’s where we met,” she added, “I just wanted a whiskey and some quiet. Then Waverly Earp walked in and I couldn’t stop looking at her. She was angry and exhausted and so very sweet despite it. I knew she was special and all I want, all I really know I need to do with my life, is make sure she knows it.”

“Fuck,” Wynonna said with a heaviness. “You’re dead to rights in love with my baby sis.”

A grin split across Nicole’s face. She dropped her hand from Wynonna’s shoulder.

“If you’re here to tell me not to hurt her –”

Wynonna raised her hand to stop Nicole.

“I’ve hurt her so much, it makes me feel weird coming to you, knowing you’re the reason my sister stands up for herself.”

Nicole shrugged. “Threaten me anyway. You’re her big sister, don’t just go thinking she’s been stronger all because of me. You and Willa coming back home has made her life better in the long run and seeing you guys stick around, I think that’s been more healing than you realize. She needs you, Wynonna and I can tell by that look on your face that maybe you need her more than you wanna admit.”

“Shit. You’re like a walking therapy session.”

“You could use one and that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.”

Wynonna rolled her eyes. “So you’re gonna be that kind of friend.”

“Oh, we’re friends now?”

Wynonna’s blue eyes could be just as soft as Waverly’s hazel ones. “Family, I think.”

“Well shit,” Nicole grunted. “That’s a trigger word.”

Wynonna’s smile was watery. “Judge is mine.” At Nicole’s surprised look, she leaned in and said, “You’re not the only one who’s been to therapy.”

Nicole relaxed. Wynonna was not who she expected her to be at all. “Listen, that vegan ice cream is gonna melt and then we’re both dead.”

Wynonna pushed herself off the car and subtly wiped at her eyes. “Yeah, go make my sister happy.”

Nicole pulled her door open and paused. “Wynonna?”

“Yeah, Tater Haught?”

“Ask Waverly to forgive you. Sometimes it’s that easy.”

“Man, you are a step up from Champ Hardy.”

“That’s not saying much.”

Wynonna nodded. “Fair. I’ll see you around. We’ll get a drink at Shorty’s.”

Nicole watched Wynonna swing a leg over her bike, slip her helmet on and take off the way she came. She got into her cruiser and felt a shift inside of her heart. She knew she had made room in there for Waverly. She hadn’t expected for Wynonna to stumble on in right after, but it was only fitting she supposed, for those two to inhabit the same spaces together.

*

Nicole was packing away the groceries and thinking about what she would make for dinner, finding their newly acquired no-meat broth base and laying out vegetables like bell peppers, onions, tomatoes, mushrooms, followed by an assortment of spices and canned beans, and a bag of bulgur wheat for a pot of chili when Waverly padded into the kitchen, freshly showered, dressed in tiny shorts and a dark blouse that hung off one shoulder, revealing so much skin, making her look soft and inviting.

She hugged Nicole from behind, sticking her face under Nicole’s arm and looking at everything on the counter. “I’ll dice the veggies while you go change,” she offered.

Nicole sighed and leaned into the strength of the body behind her. “Sounds good,” she murmured.

Waverly nuzzled her nose into Nicole’s back and held her longer. “Will you come to the homestead for Thanksgiving next week? Now that Wynonna knows, I’d like to introduce you to Willa, too. Also, I’m pretty sure Sheriff Nedley saw me pat your butt at the station a couple days ago, so he might be onto us,” Waverly said guiltily.

Nicole laughed. The Sheriff knew. He let on as much when he told Nicole he was happy for her and awkwardly slapped her back.

The tangled vines of dread that had been twisting around Nicole's heart for months unwound itself.

Nicole had always believed that love was not something you said, it was something you did. A series of actions, not a string of words.

If Nicole let herself fall for the words _I love you_ then she would have believed her mother every time the lie slipped out of her mouth, but she learned from young that those kinds of declarations came with a price, that sometimes people said they loved you so they could control you, not console you, and so she would be the first to admit that she had put her guard up with Waverly when her heart fluttered that first time, and then with purpose she refused to let Waverly say those words in the heat of passion and pain.

But day after day, in innumerable ways, Waverly had been loving her.

Now that she was a secret no longer, not just a steamy night spent in the shadows, or a shoulder to cry on on a dark dirt road, she turned around and kissed Waverly with all the tenderness of a wounded heart.

“I love you, Waverly. I love you and I love you and I love you and I love you.” She showered Waverly with it and watched as the words landed and took root and burrowed into the foundation of Waverly’s person, how she grew an inch taller and her eyes shone with the depths of an ocean and the unknown of a universe.

Waverly’s face streamed with tears and she kissed back and forced love into Nicole’s mouth, pushed her hand into Nicole's chest and forced more love into the cavernous emptiness there, and she filled Nicole like she was a god with the power to drop stars back into the void of a dying planet.

She clung to Nicole. “Take me to bed,” she begged, and Nicole scooped her up and carried her like an ancient centurion carried the glory of their prized empire on the sturdiness of battle-worn shoulders.

Nicole felt a tear slide down her own face and Waverly didn’t wipe it away, she stared at it like it meant something and she kissed it and drank from it like it was a life source, precious and scarce.

Only when Nicole was on top of her, loving her, bruising their mouths together, Waverly’s fingers raking through her hair, taking hold until they caught their breaths, bodies lost to the rhythm of pleasure, did she shut her eyes and cry out, “I love you, Nicole. I love you so much!”

Nicole was restored, the old cracks in her soul fusing beneath Waverly’s light.

“I’m here,” Waverly later promised against her ear as Nicole lay spent atop her. “And I’ll stay and I’ll always love you back.”

Nicole returned it with, “I’m here and I’ll never leave you and I’ll love you forever.”

*

Waverly would never be abandoned again. Nicole would be lonely and lost to the dark no more.

They were different and they were the same. 


End file.
